Monday Funnies

Oy, you!  It’s time to wake up and begin the recovery:

So to help with the process, a little hangover-inspired humor:

 

So to help with the excuses, some inspiration:

Edy Williams:

Giada De Laurentiis:

…and Marilyn:

Now get outta that bed, and start making things happen.

5 Worst Things About The Coronavirus

Ranked in order of foulness:

  • Australian F1 Grand Prix canceled
  • Makes barroom seduction even more difficult than it already is
  • Hasn’t killed off enough Communists yet
  • Just another opportunity for the media to create panic
  • Chances of ever nailing Monica Bellucci officially now less than zero

Your suggestions for inclusions in Comments.

Eternal Life

I have to tell you that if this is true, a lot of men I know are going to live for a VERY long time*.

Masturbation boosts your immune system, helping you fight off infection and illness

So take that, Coronavirus.

“What’s the difference between your girlfriend and a good wank?”
You can’t beat a good wank.

And now, if you’ll excuse me… oh shuddup, it’s for my health.


*This does not apply to actual  wankers, e.g.:

“Dear Dr. Kim”

“Dear Dr. Kim,
“Yesterday I ate some Chinese food, and today I’m not feeling well. Could I have caught the coronavirus?”

— Hyper Kondriac, Illinois

Dear Hyper Moron:
Never mind. I’m sure you’ll be better by November, when you can vote Democrat.  And even if you die before then, the fucking Democrats will register your vote anyway.

— Dr. Kim

Monday Funnies

Oh FFS, here we go again with that Monday stuff:

So let’s get out of its way, so to speak, with a little humor:

And speaking of beer:

Moving on…

And speaking of beliefs:

…and speaking of Commies:

Getting back to sex (as always):

And finally:

But before we get out of the way of life’s slings and arrows, here are a couple of whirlwinds:

Now, about that little wind problem… get out there and break it.