Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

Staying Home II

Mocking Furriners, SHTF

It is, as they say, to LOL at our cousins in Britishland as they begin to panic:

Panic-buying Brits strip supermarket shelves of pasta, couscous and water: Shops are left bare of larder essentials as well as toilet roll, Berocca and disinfectant as coronavirus ‘preppers’ brace for meltdown

Couscous?  [exit, pissing myself laughing]

Sorry, had to clean up a little.  I do like the addition of Berocca (supposed hangover remedy, similar to Alka Seltzer) to the list of “emergency” supplies.

Just go ahead and read the article for more merriment.  Good grief, do these people keep anything in the house?

Followup:  of course, let’s not forget our own doomsayers here in Murka:

“Dear Dr. Kim”

Advice

“Dear Dr. Kim:
“Please could you tell me how one might become more resilient in the face of constant disappointment in life? I don’t believe I set the bar high, yet so often I feel unhappy with the way things turn out to be.
For example, I invested thousands of pounds of savings (in addition to a large loan) to pay for a degree that led to no graduate job or studentship for a PhD. I worked in a hotel for two years to save for a masters degree, which I’m now undertaking.
The quality of this course is also extremely disappointing and I really regret starting it.
The rejections have begun again due to the competitive nature of securing a funded PhD (I’ve had my CVs and applications checked and they are fine). I fear the same will happen again once I finish this course.
There are also disappointments on a broader scale, for instance, the catastrophe that is Brexit and the fact people still continue to live a life convenient for them at the expense of damaging our planet. All this has started to chip away at me and at the age of 25 I feel bitter.
I know life is anything but fair, but I am struggling to change my mindset. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.”

— Princess PhD, London

Dear Princess:
Basically, I can see no end to your horrible unhappiness and the resulting bitterness, and can offer you no advice other than to kill yourself.
While this may seem a somewhat extreme remedy for your many ills, it’s not all bad:  you won’t have to endure the trauma of having to deal with rejection and you won’t have to deal with the consequences of other people’s foolishness like Brexit and planet damage.  And on the financial side, you won’t have to pay your tuition fees either, as you probably have no money saved for your estate.
If you shrink from suicide — as this seems to be a habit of yours in dealing with life’s unpleasantness — then I suggest you eat four Tide pods and call me in the morning.

Normal disclaimer / obligatory warning for stupid people:

Dr. Kim isn’t a doctor, doesn’t play one on TV (but has been known to do so with unsuspecting women on an ad-hoc basis).  His advice should be taken with a metric tonne of salt and two metric tonnes of humor, and should be followed with extreme care.  Dr. Kim takes no responsibility for outcomes of separation, violence, divorce or strange diseases stemming from the adoption of his advice.

Unhealthy Associations

Funny Stuff, Health

Here’s yet another reason why running can be bad for your health, and that of others as well:

The Italian super-spreader at the heart of Europe’s coronavirus crisis infected his pregnant wife, two doctors, an elderly woman who died from the illness and at least nine others when medics failed to test him.
The 38-year-old man, known only as Mattia, went to hospital in Codogno, northern Italy, three times with flu-like symptoms before doctors finally screened and diagnosed him with the killer virus.
He was prescribed anti-flu medication and sent home to infect countless others because medics presumed he couldn’t have the illness as he had not been to China.
The marathon runner first complained of feeling unwell on February 14 and was not diagnosed until February 20, six days later, when he developed pneumonia.
When he was rushed to hospital, and told he had developed pneumonia, his wife recalled that he may have been in contact with a friend from China.

Oops.

I guess this means that you shouldn’t associate with people from China…or with Italian marathon runners either, for that matter.  Seems like commonsense to me.

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

It’s Monday, and the 25,000 shirts you ordered for your company have finally arrived from China:

But never mind all that;  let’s have a chuckle.

And to make you feel a whole lot better, here’s Brooke Lyons:

Now go fix that order.

Under Water

Mocking Furriners, Weather

As some may be aware, the Brits have been getting slammed by storm after storm after storm, bringing rain, floods, gales, more rain, more floods, more gales, and now… snow.

Even the stiff upper lip of Mr. Free Market is trembling, as witnessed by something he sent me yesterday:

Although I must say that the views on the FM estate are quite lovely:

Yeah,I know: according to the global warmists, snowfalls in Britain were supposed to be a thing of the past.  So who are you going to believe:  a bunch of watermelon alarmists and panic-stirring journalists [some overlap], or your own lying eyes?