Humor – Page 238 – Splendid Isolation

Financial Opportunity

February 19, 2020 Kim du Toit Funny Stuff, Politics

I wish I were a bookie. Then, if this happened:

…and somehow he got elected, I’d start an offshore bookie business:

2-1 that he’d “hang himself” in the presidential limo on the way back to the White House from his inauguration ceremony
3-1 there’d be an “accident” at the Inauguration Ball
1-3 he’d die “of natural causes” before his first Cabinet meeting
1,000-1 odds against him living long enough to deliver his first State Of The Union address.

Yeah, Hillary Bitch Clinton would be President, but I’d have made a lot of money and be living in the Caymans.

Monday Funnies

February 17, 2020 Kim du Toit Funny Stuff

FMIM again, and time to get back to work:

So, Teh Funny:

And here’s a Yummy Mummy for ya: Kirsty Gallacher.

Now dive back into that sea of troubles a.k.a. the time between now and next weekend.

5 Worst Things About Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2020 Kim du Toit The Worst

Welcome to the first major Hallmark Holiday of the year. Here are the five worst:

Soppy fucking movies on TV and cutesy fucking teddy bears (are we still five years old?) everywhere you look
Hay fever from all the fucking roses in the drugstore
This bullshit in the newspapers:
All those articles in women’s magazines about how single women are traumatized by not having a date tonight
Knowing that it’s the one day of the year you have to buy her flowers / candy / a romantic dinner simply to get what you can get any other night of the year just by feeding her a couple wine coolers.

Your pet peeves about ValDay in Comments.

Caption Competition #112

February 14, 2020 Kim du Toit Captions, Friday Feature

Seeing as it’s Valentine’s Day:

Your suggestions in Comments.

Stalingrad Falls

February 12, 2020 Kim du Toit Beauty

…and in other not-news, we have this development:

Less than one-third of women worldwide are satisfied with the size of their breasts.

Anyone (male or female) over the age of 16 will know all this — like we need a study to tell us the news. [eyecross]

But yes I know, this report is useless wifout pichurs.

Don’t look too unhappy to me, but I’ve never been able to figure out what women are thinking anyway. All I know is that this girl looks quite satisfied with her superstructure: