Or you could just stay in bed:
And my general attitude, in a nutshell:
And what the hell, something profound to think about:
Tag: Humor
Stuff that makes me laugh
Caption Competition #362
Your suggestions in Comments.
News Roundup
Let’s splash out on some primo news bits:
...my guess is that he’s a 2nd Lieutenant, because only a 2nd Looey can have so slight a grasp of strategy.
...for once, I got nothing.
In Business News:
...they don’t make the tax rules, they just play by them.
...let’s hope he tries this in Europe, because it’s not gonna work in Asia.
#GenZWorkforce #Unions ...then again:
...but:
...what was that I said about unions?
...and:
...and also:
…
...only 3-4 months? Talk about optimism.
...how would he be any different from every other NYfC mayor since Giuliani?
...I dunno, but if the Brits had used their radar in WWII in the same way that the Fibbies use theirs today, everyone Over There would now be speaking German.
…
#CanadaHasCulture #WhoKnew
...see, I’m so old that to me a “brat summer” has always involved this key ingredient:
And as we dive into the murky waters of 
...boy, denim sure has changed since my teen years.
#DailyMailEditors #FailAsUsual
Caption Competition #361
Your suggestions in Comments.
News Roundup
…which is probably the best word to describe this first news item:
...”how am I going to replace half my staffers now?”
...I would have thought the CIA would be too busy planning to do that back here after November.
...keyword: Irish.
From the Hearts Of Stone Department:
...okay, quit that unseemly giggling.
...”that’s a strange noise.”
In news from The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:
...like everywhere else.
...”wait, you mean we can no longer just get rid of our problem by shipping them over to you?”
From the Department of Education:
...but but but that’s just Show & Tell in Sex Ed. Also, keyword: Florida.
And in Medical News:
...principal among them: pics of Lizzo, Hillary Clinton or Gemma Collins.
...you mean that salad tongs aren’t approved?
...when demand exceeds supply.
...all of which can be summed up with:
From the trenches of the Sex Wars:
...repeat after me: “Sex, sandwiches and silence.” And if we can have only one, then: silence.
Now for unbridled but unlinked 
…hate to say it, Tarty, but yer just not that important, compared to Hillary Clinton.
...well, we haven’t seen Phil’s little girl for a while, so why not?
And that’s all the news fit to (un-)cover.
Lookalike Names
This one made me chuckle:
Snickers launched in the UK in 1967, but before consumers could get their hands on it, it went through a change of name — because Snickers was deemed too close to another, saucier, word.
“Knickers”, I assume. Not that I think that that name is “saucy”, or anything like it. “Knockers”, maybe?
On the bright side, imagine the fuss today if someone tried to launch a snack bar called “Sniggers”… and it was made of dark chocolate. I imagine that Sniggers having been rejected, one could try “Darkies”, then?
From the archives:
I should probably stop now; but that doesn’t mean that you should. Carry on, in Comments, by all means.