News Roundup

…which is probably the best word to describe this first news item:


...”how am I going to replace half my staffers now?”


...I would have thought the CIA would be too busy planning to do that back here after November.


...keyword:  Irish.

From the Hearts Of Stone Department:


...okay, quit that unseemly giggling.


...”that’s a strange noise.”

In news from The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:


...like everywhere else.


...”wait, you mean we can no longer just get rid of our problem by shipping them over to you?”


From the Department of Education:


...but but but that’s just Show & Tell in Sex Ed.  Also, keyword:  Florida.

And in Medical News:


...principal among them:  pics of Lizzo, Hillary Clinton or Gemma Collins.


...you mean that salad tongs aren’t approved?


...when demand exceeds supply.


...all of which can be summed up with:

From the trenches of the Sex Wars:


...repeat after me:  “Sex, sandwiches and silence.”  And if we can have only one, then:  silence.

Now for unbridled but unlinked 

hate to say it, Tarty, but yer just not that important, compared to Hillary Clinton.


...well, we haven’t seen Phil’s little girl for a while, so why not?

And that’s all the news fit to (un-)cover.

Lookalike Names

This one made me chuckle:

Snickers launched in the UK in 1967, but before consumers could get their hands on it, it went through a change of name — because Snickers was deemed too close to another, saucier, word.

“Knickers”, I assume.  Not that I think that that name is “saucy”, or anything like it.  “Knockers”, maybe?

On the bright side, imagine the fuss today if someone tried to launch a snack bar called “Sniggers”… and it was made of dark chocolate.  I imagine that Sniggers  having been rejected, one could try “Darkies”, then?

From the archives:

I should probably stop now;  but that doesn’t mean that you should.  Carry on, in Comments, by all means.

Monday Funnies

Look on the bright side:  your Monday might be sucking today:

…but at least you got to Monday.  Unlike these assholes:

 

Speaking of which, I bet Rep. Rashida Tlaib has a few sudden vacancies among her staff.

 

Okay, that’s enough of that fun stuff.  Back to our normal Monday fare:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And just for the hell of it:

Read more

News Roundup

And speaking of getting shafted:


...if you can’t stop him by letting him be assassinated, stop him by fixing the vote.

In Industrial Labor News:


...bad news: production is going to dry up; good news: it’s production of the 737 Max.


…wait;  I thought that everyone wanted these Duracell cars.

Time for some news of The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:


...where are they getting the money to pay the lawyers?  I think we should be told.


...it’s almost to the point where this is no longer news.

In Global Economic News:


...are we absolutely SURE this guy wasn’t born somewhere in the U.S.?


...LOL just wait till they see their ROI.
#AfricaWinsAgain

From the Department of Education:


...keyword:  Missouri.  Again.  It must be something in the water, there in the Show-Me state.


...keyword:  California.  Of COURSE it was going to be on film.

Still talking about sex:


...this study endorsed by wankers the world over.


...newsflash:  famous rock musicians are renowned for their monogamous behavior.


...I can actually see her point.
#Talaighlagh

And in mercifully-link-free 

   

And sauntering down :


...of course, the old girl needs those tight clothes to keep the Jello-bits from wobbling around.

And still on the same old bint:


...wait, what?  Let’s see the correction:


...okay, that’s a little better.

And on that bit of Fake News, we end this roundup.