News Roundup

OMG and WTF?


…because you can’t be trusted to control your throttle, peasants.  (see yesterday’s rant about Porsche;  add Volvo to list of Cars I’m Never Going To Buy)


well, considering that the Coronavirus originated in a ChiCom bioweapons lab anyway, the primitive fuckers may as well go back to eating lizard testicles, bat ears and tiger hearts.


no;  genocide is creating a toxic virus in a bio-weapons lab, then allowing it to escape and spread around the world, you bat-eating motherfuckers.


and my efforts to import some of those stoney Krauts to California continue apace.


in the reign of Emperor Kim, morons like this will face summary execution because they’re just wasting oxygen.  They’ll be standing in the execution line right after people who drive slowly in the fast lane, unlicensed Mexican drivers and Piers Morgan.


I have only one thing to say:


oh wait;  Brits aren’t “allowed” to own that much ammo because their politicians have a “Volvo” mindset.  Oh well.  Bye bye, red squirrels.


which means that the hapless Brits are now paying only three times as much as they should.


yet another import market for stone-throwing, iron bar-wielding Germans.


and no doubt some British, Australian and California police are looking on enviously.


finally, some good news.  Although my instinct is to encourage these filthy hippies to congregate in massive numbers — for the good of the planet.

Love And Sex In The Time Of Self-Isolation

There have been all sorts of crappy articles written about how people are coping (or not) with their enforced separation from society — e.g. “OMG am I ever going to get laid again?” — all of which have apparently been written by Twinks, Snowflakes and similarly socially-inept twerps.

But Oglaf has the best (and funniest) take, I think.  (As with all his stuff, it’s NSFW — oh, what the hell am I thinking?  You’re ALL working from home, aren’t you?  Go ahead and click on the link.)

Quote Of The Day

From an email:

Dear Friends,
Today marks 4 weeks of isolation.  I’ve been walking 2.5 miles a day around my neighborhood, increased my water consumption, no meat, no sugar, no dairy, no caffeine and no flour.  The change has been fantastic!  I feel great!  Zero alcohol!  Lost 17 pounds of fat and now see muscle definition.

People like this are usually murdered.

Monday Funnies

As we enter yet another week of self-isolation:

…perhaps we should return to an ancient and time-honored cure for boredom:

Just remember that not everyone is in favor of the activity:

But ignoring all that, let us proceed with Teh Funny:

At 25c a pop (so to speak), most men would be a millionaire by age 19.  And for those of us who are into flow [sic]  charts:

Ditto:

 

 

Finally, to continue with the theme (and perhaps add a little motivation):

Oh, I almost forgot:

So, for my (distressingly-few) Lady Readers:

And to end as we started, with a little classical take:

…and a public health service announcement:

So be careful out there: