Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

News Update

Africa, Politics

Thome pithy commenth about the newth of the day.

1)  Apparently, Commie-In-Chief Nancy Pelosi wants to see President Trump in prison.  — yeah, well I want to see Red Nancy dangling from a lamp post — her, and all the other socialists in Congress.  So we’ll call it even.

2)   “Why Have the Revered Crocodiles of This Island Nation Suddenly Started Killing People?” —  because they’re fucking crocodiles, and that’s what crocs do?  I’m not even a zoologist, and I can answer that one.  (No link because NY fucking Times)

3)  Amazon Turns To Snitching –and–  Amazon Sending Out The Drones — and if we find out that the two activities are in any way linked, we’re going to need a LOT more shotgun ammo.

4)  Gypsies Take Over Village — never an errant MOAB when you need one.  (Mr. TrueBrit disagrees with me, says  he wants Vietnam-style napalm carpet-bombing, for maximum suffering.  I like the way he thinks.)

5)  Woman Bites Off Would-Be Rapist’s Tongue — (I’d like to comment, but I’m paralyzed with laughter)

6)  Austrian Cops Kick The Shit Out Of Greenie Scum — and inexplicably, some people are upset by this.  My only quibble is that they didn’t give climate-scold kiddie Greta Thunberg a new parting for her hair.

7)  Africa Wins Again — anyone have an idea of how much meat a dozen lions can eat?

Strange Bedfellows

Technology

Mark this day down in your calendars.

“I preferred life before smartphones.” — Madonna

And to the surprise of exactly no one, I agree with her.

Update:   Errrrr wait a moment.  I just realized that my inadvertent choice of title leads to a dire visual.

Damn.  Now I need to get a checkup for STDs.

Yes Yes Yes

Men & Women, Religion

According to this study, if you are a religious and conservative woman in a traditional (i.e. heterosexual) marriage, you are more likely to be sexually satisfied than other women:

…in other words, those women for whom the expression “Oh God, oh God, oh God!” is not just orgasmic, it’s a benediction.

Must suck to be a liberal lesbian atheist, huh?  (Mind you, this would explain Rachel Maddow quite well [warning: link contains Rachel Maddow], not to mention all the liberal participants on The View [no link, because ugh].)

Upgrade

Men & Women

This dispatch just in from the Sex Wars:

AI doll manufacturer Realbotix has recently fitted new models with Wi-Fi, enabling high-speed synchronising for voice and animation.
They also stand to benefit from 5G, which is poised to give us vastly superior mobile internet data.
This means sex robots will be able to connect and update without needing to be near an internet router.

And this comment from the Official Tester, Brick Dollbanger [sic]:

[T]his technology will make them so realistic, we won’t be able to tell them apart from humans.

I’m waiting for the “Make me a sandwich” upgrade, which I think will be the tipping point.

 

Auctions vs. Pleasure

Business, Funny Stuff, Men & Women

It’s not often that a newspaper story leaves me convulsed with laughter, but this one did:

Red-faced auction house chiefs are forced to look for a new venue after bidders are put off by ‘screams of pleasure’ coming from swingers club upstairs

You have to read the whole thing to get the full Monty, so to speak, but I started giggling just at the thought of a staid-looking commercial building inside which both of these are going on simultaneously:

Yeah I know, I’m a sick and twisted man… and don’t even get me started on “Greedy Ladies Day”.