Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

News Roundup

Bad News, Funny Stuff

1)  Eating beaver is an aphrodisiac, Polish minister claims — why yes, yes it is.

2)  Instagram crashes AGAIN: Users around the world hit by outage, leaving them unable to login or load the app — First World problem

3)  Indian man is killed in fight to the death over WATER — Third World problem

4)  Man is run over (twice) and is robbed while lying at the side of the road — just wasn’t his day, was it?  

5)  After a $1 million restoration, historic ship collides with container ship and sinks — wasn’t their day, either.

6)  Man Guarding Miners From Pride Of 14 Lions Is Killed — By An Elephant — Africa Wins Again.

And to end the carnage:

7)  Some stupid bitch screams abuse at a Trump supporter, loses her job as a consequence — and as sure as night follows day, some asswipe takes umbrage because Oh My We’re Better Than That, not realizing that unless we continue to use the Left’s own rules against them, they’re going to not only carry on being assholes, but get worse.

Screw them both, the Left and the Appeasers.  There are consequences for acting like an asshole, and it’s time the Left experienced that.

News Update

Africa, Politics

Thome pithy commenth about the newth of the day.

1)  Apparently, Commie-In-Chief Nancy Pelosi wants to see President Trump in prison.  — yeah, well I want to see Red Nancy dangling from a lamp post — her, and all the other socialists in Congress.  So we’ll call it even.

2)   “Why Have the Revered Crocodiles of This Island Nation Suddenly Started Killing People?” —  because they’re fucking crocodiles, and that’s what crocs do?  I’m not even a zoologist, and I can answer that one.  (No link because NY fucking Times)

3)  Amazon Turns To Snitching –and–  Amazon Sending Out The Drones — and if we find out that the two activities are in any way linked, we’re going to need a LOT more shotgun ammo.

4)  Gypsies Take Over Village — never an errant MOAB when you need one.  (Mr. TrueBrit disagrees with me, says  he wants Vietnam-style napalm carpet-bombing, for maximum suffering.  I like the way he thinks.)

5)  Woman Bites Off Would-Be Rapist’s Tongue — (I’d like to comment, but I’m paralyzed with laughter)

6)  Austrian Cops Kick The Shit Out Of Greenie Scum — and inexplicably, some people are upset by this.  My only quibble is that they didn’t give climate-scold kiddie Greta Thunberg a new parting for her hair.

7)  Africa Wins Again — anyone have an idea of how much meat a dozen lions can eat?

Strange Bedfellows

Technology

Mark this day down in your calendars.

“I preferred life before smartphones.” — Madonna

And to the surprise of exactly no one, I agree with her.

Update:   Errrrr wait a moment.  I just realized that my inadvertent choice of title leads to a dire visual.

Damn.  Now I need to get a checkup for STDs.