Stuff that makes me laugh
In ascending order of hideousness:
Your suggestions in Comments.
From Sarah Vine:
“The boss of Amazon’s UK operations claims that Britain will descend into ‘civil unrest’ if we leave the EU without a deal.
“Clearly, the prospect of not being able to position the company’s headquarters in a nice cosy tax haven while taking advantage of free trade to destroy the High Street is starting to get to the poor chap.”
She’s not altogether wrong.
As far as I’m concerned, making fun of foreigners is one of the best forms of humor, period. It has a storied tradition, and the thing about it is that the humor often contains germs of truth, if not complete truisms. Despite what today’s PC- and Snowflake generations may think, that it can be offensive is all the funnier.
When this guy posted a funny about the Welsh, apparently the sheep-shaggers took offense at the dig:
He was criticised by Welsh speakers, with Plaid Cymru leader Leanne Wood accusing him of ‘ignorance’ and a ‘lack of culture’.
Ms Wood tweeted him saying: ‘As the chair of the Barbican centre in London, why would you show such ignorance, spite and lack of culture as you have displayed in this tweet?
‘If it was meant to be a joke, it just isn’t funny. An apology would be good.’
Frankly, I think it’s hysterically funny, but it seems that I may be in the minority. [#Don’tCare]
I’m therefore starting a category on this here website which does nothing but poke fun at furriners of all races, creeds and colors. (I know, this is not exactly a new concept on my back porch, but now I’m formalizing the thing.) So on the subject of the Welsh, here’s another one:
And from the “What Did You Expect? They’re Welsh! ” Department comes this wonderful headline:
Football superstar Gareth Bale calls OFF wedding after fiancee’s father was jailed, brother-in-law died and grandparents got caught in bizarre feud over suitcase full of £750,000 cash (AND after they tried to hire Beyonce as the wedding singer)
I supposed Tom Jones was already booked.
Feel free to add your own Welsh (-only) jokes in Comments (and as always, don’t be shy — as long as it’s funny).
Next time I’ll pick on another nationality.
And by the way, just in case someone is curious: there will be no apologies in this department, ever.
Afterthought: Alert Reader KyleM tells me in an email that the pic is incorrect: if that were truly in Wales, it would be the shepherd shagging the sheep, not his sheepdog. Kyle gets a Kimbo Award for making me spew my morning gin all over the keyboard.
It seems as though the Carnoustie weather only gave the players a false sense of security on Thursday, setting them up for Friday. And it worked.
The vast crowds were not dodging imaginary lava, of course, but rain. Real rain. The sort of rain that turns course maps into mulch and makes bunkers look like mud. “I’m waiting here,” said one glum spectator, who had joined a swelling mob of clambering fans in watching a big screen from the comfort of the Open’s food tent. “I’ll have to go out later.”
…
By mid-morning, the food hall was part-cafe, part-viewing gallery and part-changing room. Those wise enough to bring waterproofs had found a place to pull them on, while others had been drawn to the smell of bacon butties. One woman, clearly unmoved by the prospect of exchanging her warmth for live golf, was simply reading a book. Another spectator told the Daily Telegraph that this was his first trip to the Open since Royal Troon in 2016, when the rain fell even harder. “At least I got a free course map,” he said.
It should be made clear that this weather is not unusual. This is Scotland. It rains. Get over it, right? But it was still hard to avoid the contrast between this misery and the opening day here, when Carnoustie provided a passable impression of a Mediterranean beach resort. On Thursday, the better-hydrated spectators fell asleep on the oversized, inflatable cushions. On Friday, those cushions drooped mournfully in the dirt like a herd of tired walruses.
…
It could always be worse, as they say, and it has been far worse than this at the Open. The conditions were so bad during the third round of the 2002 tournament in Muirfield that Trevor Immelman, the South African player, said he thought the world was going to end.
That braying sound you hear is Kim laughing uproariously.
(And thanks to Reader Pkudude, who sent me the link.)
Your suggestions in Comments.
We’ve all done it, but here are the worst, in ascending order of ridiculousness:
Bonus points for guessing which one was mine.
Your suggestions in Comments.