Tag: Humor

Wait, I thought it was always Black people forced into doing the cleaning… or have I been lied to?  Anyway:

From the Police Blotter (NYC Division):

...of course he did;  they’re not Republicans, are they?

In Parish Notes (Islam Division):

...insha’Allah.

From The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:

...and for a bonus, he came in (illegally) through their Ukranian refugee program.  Also:

...for those people who’ve been in a coma for the past ten years.  And back Over Here:

...here’s a suggestion for his 17th:

…

...anyone getting sick of this?  I’m not.

...sorry, but we’re running low on avgas, thanks to FJB.

And the final word on this topic:

...ya thank?

And speaking of someone who should be tossed out of a helicopter:

...is she threatening us, or just harking back to all the violence (but not murders) the last time Trump won in November?  Anyway as I recall, it was her crowd doing all the violence.

And that’s not all #OrangeManBadTweeter is going to do:

...when did Fauxcahantas become Nostradamus?

...just STFU and sing, dude.

And moving on with some 

  (…6.5″)

...uphold the family tradition and have his sister-in-law die in a car “accident”?

...huh?  Let’s remind ourselves who we’re talking about, here:

Way too skinny for my taste, but surely there’s someone…

And on that despairing note, we end the news.

Aaaahhhh… Australians, keeping it classy as always.

In Everybody Panic! News:

...♫ ♪ ♫ won’t be fooled again ♪ ♫  [/Peter Townsend]

...published 96 hours ago.  I report, you decide.

...the line of volunteers starts behind me, and quit that shoving, y’all.

Speaking of vermin:

...fuck me, y’all can’t even stop killing each other on your very own holiday.

In The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:

...our Nigel may want to look to the rather elegant “Greek Solution”:

...too bad this approach wouldn’t work in the Rio Grande.

...the Strylians were never going to go for the”Greek Solution” — unless of course the Chinese migrants were unvaccinated.

...send him to Greece.  By boat.

...dunno about you, but I’m not shocked at all.  In some Kraut cities, it’s 100%.

In Political News:

...if by “many”, you mean “all”, Tommy:  then yes, yes there is.

...you had me at “Anna Paulina Luna”:

And in the Corporate Bonehead Department:

...which means no more of this:

...or this:

...or even this:

...you stupid, stupid cunts.

And speaking of…

...of course she did.  Just imagine if it were a man who’d done it:  oh, the lamentations.

...of course it was.  I wonder who pays this “expert’s” salary?

And in still more meaningless 

  

...welcome to a man’s world, sweetheart.

And as we saunter down :

...one of the better examples thereof, I think:

And speaking of lying, that’s the end of the news.

So, in that spirit:

...keyword:  Russia.  Turn them Russki chicks down at your peril.

...”Calling all Kardashians!”

In other news:

...that’ll teach him to start talking sense instead of Party dogma.

...following rumors that he’d got his hands on the Epstein Client List.

...which won’t happen, of course.  Not that the silly bitch doesn’t deserve some kind of censure, that is.

And in The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:

...hold on, I’m looking around for Sarah Hoyt’s shocked face.

How about some Freak News:

...in what way, “harmful” — I mean, what kind of snowflakes are trying to pass themselves off as Olympic athletes here?

...to the surprise of absolutely nobody.  Eat some steak, you fucking freaks.

...wait, you mean lesbians want actual women, and not dickless men?  Guess they’re not interested in that inverted Crying Game thing. 

And speaking of cows:

...charge:  “Causing premature death to veal producer.”

In Medical News:

…and:

…

And now for some 

 

... how dare you set such archaic rules for your barely-of-age daughter?

...newsflash:  healthy, athletic and wealthy young men pull beautiful chicks.

And that’s all the news fit to play with.