Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

Coming And Going

Funny Stuff, Men & Women

I knew quite a few men in my yoof who ran this danger:

A small Australian marsupial known as the antechinus shot to fame after the discovery of two new species five years ago, when scientists revealed how males every mating season are, quite literally, killing themselves by having too much sex.
During the brief breeding period, males ferociously copulate with as many females as possible, in violent sessions that can last upwards of 14 hours – and, their bodies deteriorate as a result.
In the animal kingdom, reproduction can be a dangerous and peculiar game.

Not just in the animal kingdom, Bubba. In humans, this circumstance is known as “Spring Break” where, as is the case for the antechinus, all that’s required is a multitude of willing female partners.

(If perchance you spot your daughter or [shudder]  granddaughter in either of the above pics, I apologize sincerely.)

And for those callow young men who think this antechinal fate couldn’t possibly befall them, let me assure you:  after a single bout of frantic lovemaking, you’ll be pleasantly sated; but after four such encounters with different partners, even over a whole weekend, you’ll feel like death would be a welcome respite.

So trust me:  after fourteen partners on the trot, your internal (and for that matter external) organs, like that of antechinus, are going to resemble raw beef, eggs and carrots after a minute spent in a blender.

Don’t ask me how I know this. I still have the nightmares.

Her Special Day

Men & Women

As it’s Mother’s Day (Happy Hallmark Holiday to all you mothers), I thought I’d post this pic of a single mom who’s self-reliant and not shy to get her hands dirty around the house:

…or one who can do a twofer:

…and then there are the moms who can just get out and have a little fun on this, their special day:

Finally: every man should remember that if you ever forget Mother’s Day, this will happen:

…followed shortly by this:

You have been warned.

5 Worst Advertising Slogans

Friday Feature, The Worst

Some of these may not be actual slogans as used by the brands; but to quote Dan Rather, they’re “fake but accurate”:

  • “Yes, They’re Awful. But Look How Many We’ve Sold”  (McDonalds)
  • “To you, it’s a journey to your dream vacation. To us, you’re just two-legged cargo on a cheapskate budget”  (any airline nowadays)
  • “When It Absolutely, Positively, Has To Get There Sometime”  (US Postal Service)*
  • “When Your Dick Is Too Small” (Lamborghini)
  • “Endorsed by Kim Kardashian” (any product on the planet)

Your suggestions in Comments.

*I received my Jan 2018 SHOT Show credentials last week, by Priority Mail.