Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

5 Worst Things To Hear After Sex

Friday Feature, The Worst

Ranked in order of awfulness:

For a man to hear:

  • “Did I come? No.”
  • “OMG — is that my husband’s car pulling into the driveway?”
  • “No, my herpes flare-up is completely over.”
  • “Hello? Is that the Campus Rape Counsel Office?”
  • “My name is Lena Dunham.”

For a woman to hear:

  • “Well, I’m never going to buy that brand of condom again.”
  • “I have to go — my wife’s going to wonder why I’m so late.”
  • “To be honest, I preferred your kid sister.”
  • “I thought you’d enjoy anal sex.”
  • “Welcome to the Kennedy Compound.”

5 Worst Children’s Books

The Worst

Ranked as always in ascending order of awfulness:

  • Games To Play With Daddy’s Hunting Knife
  • What’s That Noise? Explaining Those Scary Sounds That Come From Mommy and Daddy’s Bedroom
  • Daddy Divorced Mommy Because Of You
  • Mommy’s New Boyfriend REALLY Loves You
  • It Takes A Village: Hillary Rodham Clinton

5 Worst Women To Be In An Orgy With

Friday Feature, The Worst

American:

There is a serious public health warning attached to each link in this post.

British/International:

  • Polly Toynbee (by the way, the link contains a big fat lie — she’s a Marxist, not a “social democrat”, whatever that is)
  • Harriet Harman (a.k.a. Harriet “Harperson”, ’nuff said)
  • Caitlin Moran (like Naomi Wolf above)
  • Diane Abbot
  • Angela Merkel

I was going to publish a companion piece of the five worst men to have an orgy with, but I suspect that most of my choices (from: O.J., Chris Brown, Howard Stern, Anthony Weiner, the entire male cast of Jersey Shores etc.) would probably find favor with quite a few women… [sigh]

5 Worst Small Cars To Go Anywhere In

Friday Feature, The Worst

There are many bad cars, there are many ugly cars, there are many cars that turned out to be failures (ahem Ford Edsel), so the competition is strong. However, if you were to poll anyone who knows anything at all about cars and ask them for their top 20 worst small cars aimed at the cost-conscious driver, these five (including variants) would be on everybody’s list. Shitty designs, woeful engineering, crappy materials, zero performance / handling, prone to bursting into flames: these clunkers had them all — proof, as if anyone needed it, that for some people, (low) price is everything.

Ford Pinto

AMC  Gremlin / Pacer

Yugo

Robin Reliant

Trabant

In the case of the Trabi, it remains a monument to how Communism can screw things up: when essentially the same people can produce two totally different cars — i.e. Mercedes/BMW/Porsche/Volkswagen on one side of a Wall, and the Trabant on the other.