5 Worst Life Lessons

Ranked in ascending order of bad:

  • All guns are always loaded.
  • Speaking your mind at your job may make you feel all righteous and stuff, but the boss may not feel the righteousness.
  • Ditto your wife.
  • You will not be respected in the morning.
  • Despite all the hoopla about it, sex with a virgin is terrible, with all that pain and crying, regret and recrimination.  And it’s even worse with a girl.

Your suggestions in Comments.

5 Worst Things You Can Say In A Business Email

In ascending order of “you’re gonna get fired”:

  • “Screw what H.R. says.”
  • “When I was in San Quentin…”
  • “My project will come in well over budget and a year late.”  (unless you’re a liberal politician, in which case you’ll be just fine;  you might even get a promotion)
  • “I’m sorry about the affair with your wife, but…”  (bonus points if you’re a woman)
  • “On our next business trip together, bring some edible panties… again.”

Your contributions in Comments.  Bonus points if your contribution ever got you actually fired.