Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

5 Worst Excuses For Being Late For School

Friday Feature, The Worst

In order of implausibility:

  • “My little sister hid my backpack.”
  • “The dog wouldn’t move away from lying in front of my dad’s car.”
  • “It was the Russians.”
  • “I had a panic attack because Donald Trump is President.”

…and the absolute worst reason for being late for school:

  • “My gym teacher just wouldn’t let me get out of bed this morning.”

Your suggestions in Comments.

Quote Of The Day

QOTD

From Glenn Reynolds:

“Anti-gun groups have lots of money, lots of organization, and lots and lots of media help. What they don’t have is lots of supporters. “

…a.k.a. voters, which is what drives them crazy when they do all their “Ban this! and ban that!” screaming and nothing happens.

Quote Of The Day

QOTD

From the Knuckledragger:

“One box [of coffee pods] lasts us about 3 weeks give or take a day or two, so once a month I make a run down to Gallatin to buy coffee, pay my credit union bill, then swing by Sumner Gun & Supply to buy a little something just to feel better about myself — targets, Hoppes, shit like that. You know, comfort shopping.”

I think we’ve all been there. Nothing like buying some shooting supplies to make all well with the world.

Scorecard For The Fuzz

Funny Stuff

Try to keep up. There will be a quiz later.

So there’s this police station in Britishland where the concept of fraternization seems to be endemic, and a whole lot of pens are being dipped in the office ink, so to speak. Here goes:

1.) Head Cop (female) is bonking Constable #1 (male) in a full-time kind of situation:

2.) Firearms Instructor (male) is bonking the Phys Ed Instructor (female), also on a full-time basis:

So far, so good.

However, while these “long-term” relationships are going on, Head Cop is also doing some extracurricular bonking with Firearms Instructor, to whit:

“There are allegations of shagging in hotel rooms, shagging in police HQ and shagging in a police car. It’s crazy.”

But that’s not all. Head Cop was previously married to Another Constable (#2) in the same station, with whom she had three children but later divorced.

Amazingly, Constable #1 isn’t bonking Phys Ed Instructor (that we know of, anyway) and nobody seems to be bonking the ex-husband, Constable #2 — although given the nature of this police station, he’s probably having a fling with Desk Sergeant (gender unknown).

One wonders how they ever get any actual, you know, police work done amidst all that intramural bonking; the answer (as former PC “David Copperfield” from the much-missed Coppersblog will tell you) is that they probably aren’t. Doing any police work, that is. Hard to do when the loins are locking and the hips are thrusting pretty much 24/7.

My question is this:

Since when did small British cop shops get to have firearms instructors?