From Amy Odell, writing about Ben Affleck and Gwyneth Paltrow’s relationship:
“At times he seemed more interested in playing video games with the guys at his house than being with Gwyneth.”
Can’t say I blame him.
Tag: Humor
Stuff that makes me laugh
Monday Funnies
Our weekly Classical Reminder:
So on to Teh Funny Stuff and such:
And now for something more classical:
Trigger warning: smoking
Now climb in yer cars and get to work, you lot.
Caption Competition #403
You suggestions in Comments.
Top Three Sex Tips For Older Women
- After the age of 35, never go on top unless it’s reverse cowgirl. (Executive Summary: your face looks like a bloodhound as the skin sags.) Just beware of the reverse cowgirl too, because he’s going to get a good view of your saggy, wrinkled butt. It’s far less stressful to do the naughty under these conditions:
- If you’re going to go for a toyboy, the ideal formula is: your age divided by two, and above. If the result is less than 30, you should be ashamed of yourself. Ignore if fabulously rich or else once fabulously gorgeous, e.g. Joan Collins.
- Over the age of 50, never be photographed showing your knees, unless you’re sitting down with legs bent (see pics below of Jane Seymour, 74, who follows this rule religiously).
(Executive Summary: Wrinkles around the knees are like rings on a tree: they increase with age.)
— 
“Dear Dr. Kim”
“Dear Dr. Kim:
“I’m a junior executive (25), and was recently introduced to a rather pretty woman of 22 at a party. We split off from the group, as one does, and started chatting. About two minutes into the conversation, she started talking about her huge collection of something called ‘Labubus’. (I had no idea what this is, and later discovered that it’s a small doll with teeth.) Anyway, this woman’s entire conversation revolved around her collection — how much they cost, how collectible they are, the various types, and how adorable they are.
“I’m all for people having hobbies, but something seems a little off about this obsession, and I’m debating whether to follow up with this woman.
“Advice?”
— Wary Bloke In The City
Dear Wary (and a good name that is, too):
We have seen nonsense like this before, and it seems like there’s one for every generation: Beanie Babies, Cabbage Patch dolls, and so on, which sell at outrageous prices and are subject to (calculated) shortages to drive up the value thereof. So great was the excitement surrounding all these trinkets that people got into squabbles and fistfights over them at stores.
What has characterized all this obsessive nonsense is that the people most taken in by the craze are the same type: they’re children, no matter what their age, and if older — say, over the age of ten — they’re likely to be stupid as well.
I’ve always told young men that if they enter the apartment / bedroom of their intended conquest and discover that the bed is covered with two dozen teddy bears, their only course of action is to run — run quickly and far away — to put as much distance as possible between you and this ghastliness.
These Labubu things very definitely fall into the teddy-bear / Cabbage Patch / Beanie Babies category.
So my advice is to blank Miss Labubu-Collector, and find someone less childish and more intelligent. Your wariness, in this case, is definitely warranted.
—
News Roundup
And speaking of things rising up:
...well, no it isn’t. I’m glad to see, however, that Seattle and Portland are the most likely to be thus afflicted. Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of Marxist assholes.
And as for far-off places, these next items come from our Travel Bureau:
...not much of a secret for long, now that the newspapers have publicized it.
...[scratching Naples from the Travel Bucket List]
...not quite the “adventure” advertised in the brochure, methinks.
...and you can’t get a decent egg ‘n chips, cottage pie or Yorkshire pudding anywhere, either.
...as if cruise ships aren’t a shitty experience to start off with.
Now tourism of a different type, here’s 
...actually, that’s not quite true, chica; we’re saving space in the dungeons for your little bunch of rancid Commies and terrorsymps.
...the City of Angels having so much extra cash to throw around, probably arising from the building permit fees from Palisades.
In the Darwin Chronicles:
...the hunger for attention and clicks seemingly has no bounds.
Time for Medical Crimes:
…
And some Sex Crimes:
...just terrible, except that a.) he was captured on video doing it, and b.) confessed to the crime.
#Brazil #SpeedyJustice
...wait: Buddhist monks have millions of dollars?
...I’m just impressed that some guy was sitting on his car hood and wanking… for six hours straight.
#Viagra
And now it’s the turn of unlinked 
And as we travel through 
:
...relax, it’s a newspaper report, ergo no tits to be seen anywhere:
So in the spirit of investigative journalism, I’ve found some better pics:
All part of the service, no need to thank me.
Finally, a bit of comedy to brighten your day. Apparently, some keffiyeh-wearing scrote was trying to disrupt the Tour de France bike race by protesting Israel’s participation.
One of the security guards took exception.
