Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

Quote Of The Day

Men & Women, QOTD

From Mandy Baldwin at Country Squire Magazine :

“Talking of sex, ladies, if you don’t like what’s being dished up, try varying the menu, instead of betraying private foibles to anyone who’ll listen. How would you like your bits being the subject of gossip? He’s not a rapist just because you’ve gone off him. If he makes your flesh crawl in a bad way, you don’t make a feminist statement by hanging around. Leave, make your own life, let him make his.
“After all, one woman’s mouldy chipolata is another woman’s prime beef-steak, and chances are, he’s equally miserable: not everyone enjoys being shackled to someone who pulls a face like a bull-dog chewing a wasp at the merest hint of a Morning Glory.”

That’s some priceless imagery, right there.

Quote Of The Day

QOTD

From The Diplomad:

So to sum it up for the [R]esistance:  The anti-semite Trump is the best friend Israel has ever had.  The racist Trump has instituted policies that have produced the lowest unemployment figures in decades for black and hispanic Americans.  The woman-hating Trump had a woman running his campaign (no, not Mrs. Putin), has a woman as Ambassador at the UN, another as the head of DHS, another as head of Education, yet another as White House spokesman, and now has made a woman the head of the CIA.  The oligarch Trump has instituted tax and other policies that are putting more money into more ordinary people’s pockets than has happened in many years.

All just like Hitler did…

 

Good Advertising

Funny Stuff

One of my favorite ad campaigns of all time was that of Smirnoff during the 1970s.  Basically, the formula was a series of ads using the riff of “I thought or did [x], until I discovered Smirnoff.”  Here’s one example:

And:

Other examples include:

  • “I thought Cunnilingus was the Irish airline, until I discovered Smirnoff.”
  • “I thought Wanking was a city in China, until I discovered Smirnoff.”
  • “I thought the Salvation Army came from Salvatia, until I discovered Smirnoff.”
  • “I thought a ménage à trois was a French dish, until I discovered Smirnoff.”
  • “I thought crabs meant soft-shell, until I discovered Smirnoff.”
  • “I thought Fellatio was an admiral in the Royal Navy, until I discovered Smirnoff.”

…and so on.  The lines could be innocuous like the ones in the pictures, or else as racy as the others listed.  Whatever their bent, they were all hilarious, and the theme is actually timeless (the mark of truly great advertising).

Feel free to add your own suggestions on the same theme, in Comments  —  e.g. “I thought the Clinton Foundation was a charity, until I discovered Smirnoff.”

Not The Best Idea

Travels

So London’s Arsenal F.C. have finally announced a replacement for longtime manager Arsène Wenger.  But I’m not interested in the doings of the North London Scum (as we Chelsea fans call them).  Here’s the interesting thing.  As is customary, the new guy (some Spanish dude, who cares) held up an Arsenal jersey at a photo-op to mark his new allegiance.  Anyone see anything wrong with the pic?

Of all the silly advertising… Visit Rwanda?  Rwanda?

Let’s just say it’s not on my  Travel Bucket List.

Okay, okay… before any pro-Rwandan maniacs get all bent out of shape, let me acknowledge that Kigali was recently voted “Most Beautiful City In Africa”:

…no doubt by the same people who also think that Yemen is a dandy vacation idea.  As with all things African, though, you need to step about a hundred yards outside the publicity photos to find the reality:

But hey… go ahead and fly Emirates to Rwanda, be my guest.

Me, I’m thinking about Prague…

5 Worst Things You Can Say To A Defeated Opponent

Friday Feature, The Worst

Ranked in ascending order of bad sportsmanship:

  • “Neener!  Neener!”
  • “I guess paying off the referee didn’t help you that much, did it?”
  • “Hey, never mind… after all, your side had the prettier uniforms!”
  • “Imagine what would have happened if I’d played you right-handed!”
  • “Yeah, yours was the moral victory. And that moral is:  in future, don’t play against someone so much better than you! “

Your suggestions in Comments;  the meaner the better.