From Kenny (with a little addition):
[insert Jayhawk/Missouruh/Okie/Soooeeeey joke here]
Tag: Humor
Stuff that makes me laugh
News Roundup
So chug down that morning tipple, and let’s get on with it.
In The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:
...y’all want us just to kill him here, or do you want him back so you can have the pleasure? (offer not valid in states without the death penalty)
...it’s actually all a tragic mistake caused by a language problem. When he was told “Go get some from Five Guys”…
Then on to International News:
...wake up, old son: Biden has never been your ally, unlike Trump. And speaking of whom:
...I’m not so sure that the Stupid Party needs advice from this guy:
...but let’s keep “Trump” and “blowout” handy for later.
Some news from the Daily Woker:
...now if only they could concentrate on making decent beer...
Some Crime News:
...who do they think they are: the Secret Service?
...ya think? The real question is: why?
In the Business World:
...what; did all those government subsidies run out?
In Travel News:
...well, perhaps if you allowed them to drink booze; but noooo, it offends your fucking stupid guidebook or whatever.
In Parish News:
...yeah, bet he was surprised at being arrested for impersonating an influential Epstein client.
From the Medical Files:
…
And in the perpetually link-free 
And as we look at properties in 
:
...I bet she does. She always has that “JBF” look about her...
...or that “just about to be” look:
And that’s the end of the nipples news.
Men Are Pigs
This has nothing to do with yesterday’s post about boob reductions.
But it shows that when it comes to strange perversions and a desire for random sex, it’s not just the human male that’s affected.
The entomophthora muscae eats its host (female fly), and then attracts healthy flies over to have necrophilic intercourse with it so the fungus can spread. The weird footage, shared by researchers at University of Copenhagen, illustrates the behaviour, which the experts say happens frequently.
“Hey, boys… want a good time? Come on over.”
“She looks a little off… is she still breathing?”
“Does it matter?”
“Not really.”
Wanna know the funny thing? Even if you warned the male flies about the danger, I bet that a lot would go ahead anyway.
And there ya have it. Q.E.D.
Caption Competition #358
Your suggestions in Comments.
Quote Of The Day
“Disappointing to go and not find a single vegan option though.” — some asshole upon visiting Jeremy Clarkson’s pub.
Like Clarkson was ever going to offer vegan slop in his new place.
News Roundup
Speaking of fun stuff:
…
And speaking of sick, here’s Crime News:
...”could be executed”? Volunteers to throw the switch, the line forms behind me. And quit that pushing and shoving.
And Crime News (Krautland Department):
...of course, if Germany were to reinstate the death penalty for such crimes, that would solve the problem one way or the other, yes?
...yeah, that’ll work. They’ll just come back as Ukrainian refugees, or something. And then the Krauts wonder why this is happening:
...”hard right”? LOL I know some ol’ boys in Arizona and Louisiana — to mention just two — who’d make these AfD guys look like little girls. But anyway… it looks like that has happened.
In other Furrin News:
...and after the drone strikes are completed and the dust has settled, we need to ask what the hell US servicemen are doing in Turkey in the first place.
...”Husband Of The Year” candidate. Keyword: France.
...I thought this only happened in shitholes like Russia or California.
In further Election News:
...I think that mentioning George Washington and Joe Biden in the same sentence should be a misdemeanor, unless we’re making a “Best” and “Absolute Worst” comparison.
In Sporting News:
...number of people who actually care about this: 0
And it’s time for link-free 
…
And while sauntering down 
...Nicole honey, methinks that ship sailed a long time ago. I mean, wasn’t this also you?
Just wait till your kids are old enough to watch your movies… now that’s going to be embarrassing.
And so we come to the end of the Redhead Roundup.