Stuff that makes me laugh
And if you substitute Uncle Sam for the shrew on the left, you’ve about guessed my mood today.
And this neatly sums up my attitude vis-à-vis government:
But let me end with a more positive message to the alphabet agencies snooping around my back porch, seeing as it’s the beginning of the week:
Now say bye-bye, and head off to work.
So let us begin with Trump News:
...as long as “purge” includes floggings and mass execution of traitors, I’m all for it.
...but when Fuckface Kerry did just that during Trump’s first term and even undermined his policies, that was perfectly okay? Got it.
...sheesh, when even John McCain’s box-of-rocks daughter sees the writing on the wall, the Commies must be feeling nervous.
...you mean, in addition to Wokism, the shit economy, terrible foreign policy, anti-Americanism, oppressive government [list of 200 more reasons omitted]?
...and he didn’t need a fucking teleprompter, either.
In Unspeakable Bastard Government News:
…
As The Great Cultural Assimilation Project© continues:
...and it being Seattle, those demands will likely be met, along with added obsequious grovelling instead of clubbings and “deportations”.
And in related Travel News:
...I would have thought that this was actually a permanent thing, but apparently not.
#AllMuslimCountriesAreShitholes #ChangeMyMind
In Nutrition News:
...should never have put that disgusting shit on the shelves in the first place.
...hey, Double-Decaf Extra-Cinnamon Latte-Lovers, we’ve been saying that for nearly thirty years.
#SmugPoseurs #DunkinIsBetter #AndCheaper
In Entertainment News:
...what, exactly, did you expect from Australian crowds, if not hooliganism and projectile vomiting? Also keyword: Melbourne.
And speaking of Aussies:
...had a bad relationship or two with Teh Menz, did we? To compensate for the loss of sales as her hetero market dwindles, I see OnlyFannies in her future.
...just the usual Train Smash stuff. Why do you ask?
And in our linkless 
...don’t care, don’t wanna know.
And in the Bountiful Curves Gallery:
…and bountiful they are indeed:
And that is the back side of the news.
In an email I received from Circuit Of The Americas (COTA):
Oh yeah, that’s going to get me to endure traffic jams, endless walks to and from the “remote” (and are they ever) parking lots, probably with copious mud as well, and either rain or blistering sunshine during the race itself, of which I can only see a small portion because F1 seating, and which that little twerp Verstappen is going to win anyway.
And then afterwards, be stuck in a crowd of drunks listening to Eminem’s illiterate doggerel (I’m sorry, I meant “rap music”) and Sting warbling on about Saving The Green Planet / Tantric Yoga Sex With My Wife Trudi / whatever.
Did I mention that all the above is available for only $250 per ticket, excluding parking?
Pass.
And hand me the remote.
*Considering that F1 uses Michelin exclusively for their cars, how did those sneaky Italians get their tires into the act?
Your suggestions in Comments.
Let’s look at some other politically-incorrect news and views, for a change:
…
Fake News Dept.:
...why fake? Because handguns are illegal in Britishland, ergo this could not possibly have happened. Bonus: Guess The Race.
From the Police Blotter:
...thus ensuring that at least something of the visitor will, indeed, stay in Vegas.
In International News:
...missing those massive contributions from Britishland, are we?
In Medical News:
…
Time for some Glueball Jewhate News:
...and does Egypt have the equivalent of the Second Amendment? Why no, no it doesn’t, and nor does any other Muslim nation.
...my only quibble with Elon is his using the future tense in that statement.
In the Technology Dept.:
...am I the only one who thinks he’s having some weird reality dislocation here? Or is it just the morons responsible for the “backlash”?
#Can’tCope
Science! News:
...same scientists found murdered.
#DeBeers
In Nutritional History News:
...”made excellent fish & chips too”, sez Keith Richards; but as a kid, Willie Nelson preferred it chicken-fried like his Momma made.
Some dispatches from Sex News:
...Rule #1: Never try to compete with a slut.
And in link-free 
...no.
...I prefer the old one: letting her lick the front of your Amex Black Card.
And ending the news on a positive note:
...don’t care about the reason. Here she is:
Nothing wrong with Canuck totty, really, and here’s the Naked News website.
And that’s the end of the (not naked) news.
What to do with “found money”? Read this little story, and then go beneath the fold for my take.