Let’s begin the Monday lesson:
And to alleviate the suffering, some random totty from my ” You Probably Shouldn’t Post That Online” folder:
Now hit the beach… or something.
Tag: Humor
Stuff that makes me laugh
News Roundup
So let’s look at the news, which will also cause you to break wind.
From the Dept. of Health, Nutrition and Religion:
...tastes like shit, is bad for you: just like vegans themselves, I’m told.
Speaking of religions:
…
And while we’re on the Jew-Hate train of thought:
...wait: sexual activity? If looking at those Holocaust pics gives you a woody, you need help.
From the Dept. of Education:
...this all started when the courts decided that illegal immigrant children were entitled to free state education.
#DontCare #ReapTheWhirlwind
...Go Huskers! And while we’re there:
...sadly, only in rural areas, where there isn’t too much danger from random assholes. In the city schools, however, where there IS that kind of danger, the schools need to rely on the cops.
#UvaldeAgain
Still with the kiddies:
...but but but…isn’t underage sex illegal! You mean making something illegal doesn’t end the problem?
From the Lawn Order News Desk:
...and of course he will; in 2050, when it’s used against his side.
...at gunpoint, perhaps? I think he just means “run them over”. [/Insty]
#NudgeNudgeWinkWink
And The Great Cultural Assimilation Project© continues apace:
...promises made by government, promises not kept by government. Welcome to the U.S.A.
#CivicsLesson
In the Romance Dept.:
...errrrr no, I think you’ll find it was actually the heroin.
#AutopsyReport
And now for some linkless 
And living in 
:
...actually, she’s always been kinda fond of the sparkly dress stuff:
And on that powerfully-erotic note, we end the news.
Caption Competition #328
Your suggestions in Comments.
News Roundup
And if ever we needed beer:
...I don’t wanna say “I told you so!!” but…
And completely unrelated to the above:
...no, you shouldn’t buy “an” AR-15. You should buy at least two because, as the old saying goes, “Two is one and one is none.” Three would be better, and four (one or two for you, and a couple for your friends, if needed) is just dandy.
Some International News:
...wait: Japan’s getting upset by this? It has to be bad.
...not so nice when it happens to you Arab assholes, is it?
#Payback
...and then were promptly arrested for destroying an endangered species, I bet.
Some Murkin News:
...name ONE, asshole. Get specific.
...did they overturn Kelo? No? Then nobody cares.
...priorities: they’re important.
And in the Dept. of Education:
...it’s called “free enterprise”, guys; leave her alone, dammit. Also, keyword: Houston.
In Business News:
…
And now, ’tis time for 
...welcome to the boys’ club, honey.
And on that note, it’s time for our little journey down 
:
Unlike the news, that’s just the way we like it.
Monday Funnies
Let’s get to Teh Funnie:
And speaking of meat, a few leftovers from last week at Aintree:
Now put on your shoes and fly off to work…
News Roundup
Starting off with Global Warming Climate Cooling Change©:
...or, “How To Fuck Up A State, just Like Gavin Newsom Does”.
...unexpectedly. Lessee: cars that nobody wants, “renewable” energy sources that don’t work, “green” infrastructure that is more harmful than what it’s replacing… can’t imagine why people would want to bail on it all.
And in more Economic News:
...FJB.
From The Swamp:
...yeah, but they’ll find some way of bringing the fucking thing back to life. You heard it here first. (UPDATE: told you so.)
From Police Files:
...cops planting evidence? Say it ain’t so.
...also to be found in the Dept. Of The Blindingly Obvious.
...in Chicago, that is a routine traffic stop.
From the Dept. of Education:
...forget it, Jake Glenn; it’s California.
...perhaps the WashGov should ban horny teachers instead of natural gas? Just a thought.
...nature studies, so to speak. Very educational.
...I remember back when the Nazis referred to Physics as the “Jewish” science. Oh how we laughed at them, the idiots...
...from Glenn’s mouth to God’s ear.
In the Hearts Of Stone Dept:
...on the one hand, it could be said that OLAS was really looking after him (not); but on the other hand, maybe he was one of those priests (if you know what I mean), and just got what he deserved...
And in today’s 
And in 
:
...apparently, they signify something or other (see link).
I have to say that I find her kinda plain-looking (like Lady Gaga?).
And that’s the news.