You’re going to need a drink after seeing this lot.
...nah, not that one; that’s some other Simon Cowell. Made you look.
...ah now, that’s Our Simon: ready to do anything for TV ratings, the foul bastard.
In Glueball Jewhate News:
…
Relax, Jacques; it’s Paris.
Also, news from The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©, U.S. Division:
...causing poor children to starve: it’s the United African Way.
And speaking of the poverty-stricken:
...of course, they’re only poor African members, so donations won’t be affected.
And in Political Disaster! News:
...not that the Commie bitch doesn’t deserve it, of course.
...you mean like Biden with the student debt forgiveness thing?
Meanwhile, in reality:
And let’s hope he learns from this guy:
…
It’s not just in the Americas:
...and:
...of course, in Euro terms, “far-right” is “JFK Democrat” on the U.S. political spectrum.
In Health News:
...so no different from what happens in a pub, then.
From the Travel News desk:
...key word: Mumbai.
Some Parenting News:
...explanation: loony father and mother, likely insane kids.
And in yet more 
...fuck Hamilton, he’s going to Ferrari next year anyway.
And driving down 
:
And as Clint Eastwood might say: “That’s enough of that.”
:
