Your Valentine’s Day suggestions in Comments.
Tag: Humor
Stuff that makes me laugh
Quote Of The Day
“There have been so many Somalians arriving that parts of London just don’t feel like Bangladesh anymore.” — Leo Kearse
That’s one of those not-so-funny observations — humor, masking despair.
White Americans living in Arab-infested Dearborn MI or Somali-infested Minneapolis MN will be only too familiar with the feeling.
News Roundup
So let’s get to work, then:
...but-but-but I was reliably informed that Trump’s election would cause an economic collapse.
Let’s have a little MAGA News, but first, a summary:
And some details:
...OUR new Attorney General.
...and it’s long overdue.
...what, no prison sentences? <pout>
...hur hur hur… he said “pulling out”.
...me too, Stephen. Oh good grief…
To continue:
In The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:
...fucking hell, they needed a “report” to tell them that? Never mind, I’m sure their “plan” will be put into effect by 2040 at the latest.
...so you admit you’d be breaking the law by employing illegal immigrants, then? Noted.
In the annals of Stupid Superstitions:
...and in other news, the people who read chicken entrails decide that we’re going to have rain sometime in April.
In Medical News:
...hell, I know several women who act like they are. Also:
…it’s just a good thing that she isn’t allergic to her orgasms.
In the Hearts Of Stone Dept.:
…
From the files of Lawn Order:
...that’s sticking it to the Man, you betcha. No stupid cop is going to tell him how to drive.
...errrr I think you’ll find that’s illegal, you asshole. Keyword: Dallas.
And in our sex-drenched 
As we set off down 
:
...as we take another look at out favorite Nigora, first with the old man:
...and then, flying solo:
And at another address on the same street:
...okay, she’s way too emaciated for me, but for those who like the Bony Type:
...and I have to admit, she’s not bad for 53.
Finally, speaking of today’s sponsor:
And that’s the news, all geared up for the week.
Quote Of The Day
From POTUS Trump, on being asked about his opinion on the residency status of Prince Ginger Nuts:
“I’ll leave him alone. He’s got enough problems with his wife. She’s terrible.”
That’s gotta sting.
Monday Funnies
And still on a classical note:
So let’s all quit that crying, and let a little sunshine into our lives, shall we?
Peeve #564
Among the several things about Modern Life that make me ultra-peevish is this thing about people walking around carrying drinks — water bottles, Yeti flasks, what have you — and I want to ask people (loudly) whether they think they’re going to die of thirst before they can get to the nearest tap or drinking fountain. Mostly, this applies to women, the precious creatures, because Teh Experts tell us that We Must Remain Hydrated, Lest We Die.
Maybe when you’re crossing the fucking Mojave Desert, but not when you’re crossing the street in Dallas or Los Angeles.
However, let it not be said that I’m completely intolerant in this regard. I am prepared, for instance, to make exceptions to my “Stop acting like a camel!” gripe in circumstances such as these:
…although I should also point out that not all women seem to need that oh-so important drink in their hand every time they step outdoors:
…and of course, there are those poor things in obvious need of sustenance:
I mean, I wouldn’t want y’all to think I was that Krool & Hartless, after all.
But in all honesty, if you’re that thirsty, get off the street and find a place to assuage your thirst — and there are many of them, in cities all over the world. Places like these:
It’s really not too much to ask.