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Tag: Humor
Stuff that makes me laugh
Simple Solution
Apparently these miserable folks are having their lives ruined by a bunch of pigs:
A group of rogue pigs have been causing chaos in a quiet village for months, according to locals, by digging up gardens and causing thousands of pounds worth of damage.
The animals have been raiding properties after escaping from a nearby farm.
Although they are regularly rounded up and returned, the escapes keep happening — with more members of the intrepid herd breaking out and heading for the gardens.
Of course, there’s a simple answer to this pressing problem:
or even:
But wait… I forgot that this is Britishland, where this kind of remedy is apparently frowned upon, and pigs are more important than private property.
And if the above pictures didn’t make you drool, we can’t be friends.
News Roundup
You’ll need a martini too, after reading this lot.
...hey, they’ll try anything to get Angela Merkel to commit suicide.
In Billionaire Tech Wizard News:
...what bullshit. a.) he’s trying to get sympathy from Lefties for palling up with DJT, or b.) he’s just another delusional Lefty like Whoopi Goldberg. (I know: embrace the power of “and”.) Although maybe this had something to do with it:
...it should have been $25 billion, which may have made the androgynous little asshole take notice.
...says the guy who wants to coerce the whole world into being injected with experimental vaccines, and who’s wasted billions on trying to eliminate Third World hunger.
And speaking of insane shit:
...have they not yet realized that the world has changed since November 2024 and this bullshit ain’t gonna fly? On the other hand, keyword: Pennsylvania.
Speaking of a changing world:
...you don’t say.
...in the list of Things To Worry About, this probably ranks well below “millions of badgers raining from the skies”.
From the Dept. of Education:
...or does this just mean that minorities aren’t such good students, have lower graduation rates and therefore need disproportionate assistance to compete with Whitey? Discuss.
...thus joining all the other universities in the world.
...only one hundred? Talk about under-achievers.
...should have kept it to a carefully-vetted dozen. But, Floriduh.
And of all those things we call 
...and the happy couple looks kinda like you’d think they would:
And as we drive down 
:
...and she’s using pictures rather than text to get her message across:
And that’s all the news under the sun.
Monday Funnies
Yeah, Monday always comes as an unpleasant surprise. So let’s relax and enjoy our problem…
And speaking of being down by a river:
Now dive into the rest of the week.
Caption Competition #379
Your suggestions in Comments.
Paternal Impulse
As reported to me on WhatsApp:
Conversation in Doc Russia’s kitchen:
Doc’s teenage daughter: ”so, my friend told me that this kid that sat next to me in homeroom last semester has a huge crush on me”
Wife: “oh, do you like him?”
Daughter: “NO! He’s a total creeper!”
Wife: “well, I’m sorry that the first guy to have a crush on you is a creeper”
Daughter: “oh, he’s not the first boy to have a crush on me, so it’s fine”
Wife: “well, don’t worry; he won’t be the last creeper in your life”
Daughter: “oh, I’m sure.”
Wife: “can you take the garbage out”
Daughter: “Sure!” [exits stage left]
Doc: …
Wife: “are you thinking about murder?”
Doc: …
Wife: “you are, aren’t you?”
Doc: “…yes.”
We’ve all been there.