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Tag: Humor
Stuff that makes me laugh
News Roundup
And if that doesn’t get you going, then this will:
...so much for all those panicky headlines, then.
...you mean that old rascal’s been playing the fool with us — or rather, the stupid Greens — all this time? And speaking of the sun:
...considering how often the solar power plants have failed during icy winters and scorching summers (i.e. when electric power is most needed), it’s not unreasonable. And if building those backup plants costs too much and takes too long, they can blame the Greens who put up all those barriers in the first place.
#ServesEmRight #JustDeserts
In Political News:
...and the other 20% want him executed. Compare and contrast to conservatives, 100% of whom want all Commies sent to the gulag or gallows. (Okay, I made that last bit up — but I bet I’m not far off).
Democrat Socialists FAFO:
...give ’em the same treatment that the J6 folks got.
“Reverend” Al Sharpton Doesn’t Like White Political Refugees
...quelle surprise.
#RacistCocksucker
In Education News:
...because DEI. Just think of using those all those millions to partially settle some student loans… [ducks]
From the Pentagon Papers:
...it’s a start. Later, we can talk about taking women out of combat units and Navy ships.
Latest from Business News:
...it’s not so much their crappy sludge that’s a problem (we all still loves us our Frosted Flakes, after all); it’s the fact that their crappy sludge now costs $10 a box.
In The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:
…
Finally, from the front lines of LGBTOSTFU:
...yeah, that worked SO well for Bud Lite.
And diving into the dumpster of unlinked 
And as we drive headlong down 
:
...no shit? Well then, have a few impure thoughts on me:
There ya go… ya filthy animals.
Thieves
I had to chuckle at this little piece of advice for dealing with this particular issue:
There’s even a handy-dandy little list:
It is, as they say, to laugh.
As I’ve stated so often before, seagulls don’t respond to defensive postures such as the above: the little fuckers will sometimes attack you for fun, not just for food. So ignore all the above, non-violent measures.
As with most animals, the best defense is attack. Lo and behold Kim’s Ultimate Anti-Seagull Device (which I describe more fully here):
Instructions for use: if you’re going into seagull territory — which is just about anywhere there’s a large body of water — carry one of these. When you see one of these airborne rats approaching, wait till it’s in range, then take a full swing at it; don’t just bat it away, you want to inflict massive pain on the fucker or else it will just come back for more. In my experience, you’ll only have to do this twice or three times before the other airborne rats will get the message and leave you alone. The goal is to leave the bird flailing around on the ground with broken limbs (wings, legs or neck), making an awful ruckus that will frighten others of its ilk away.
Don’t get put off by the anguished squeals of any bird-lovers in the scene because they’re irrelevant to your problem. Just whale away at these rodents (the birds, not the bird-lovers, but be my guest). Then relax and enjoy your snack. When you leave the area, feel free to kick the carcasses out of the way.
Remember: a tennis racquet is sports equipment, not a weapon. Just remember to rinse the blood and feathers off the thing when you get home.
Monday Funnies
So let’s get into the spirit of the thing:
And on a lighter note:
And speaking of Godwin’s Law, here are some things you would never have seen if Hitler had won the war:
Why? He thought red hair was an evil genetic aberration, and needed to be exterminated.
Then again…
Now go and plunge into the rest of the week…
Caption Competition #392
Your suggestions in Comments.
Long Waits
Every so often I come across a meme, cartoon or expression which makes me chortle… except that it is extremely date- or time specific, and can only be posted at a certain time or on a specific date, e.g.
So I have a folder on my system called “Date Specific” which contains all of those, and inside are sub-folders with names like “Tax Day 04-15”, “National Ammo Day 11-19” and so on, in which I keep said objects.
So a couple days ago (May 5) Reader Steve D. (who is, I think, Hispanic) sent me an email which contained the following:
Bravo, Steve. It took me a minute, of course, because Sinko Da Mayo is amazingly not a date which resonates with me, particularly as it isn’t as relevant to me as dates such as a former South African client’s daughter’s birth date (don’t ask, I never even met her) or the day I first French-kissed a girl (December 17, 1968) and so on.
Anyway.
The only problem (for me, anyway) is that I have to keep a mental note of annual calendar dates so that I can post the appropriate entry — and given my advanced state of age-related mental diffusion, that’s becoming increasingly difficult.
Which sucks, because if I happen to miss the date and fail to post the thing, I have to wait a whole damn year before it becomes relevant again.
Here’s one I missed last July 4th, for instance:
Please forgive this addled old blogger…