Missed Opportunity

Thinking back on my 1985 U.S. trip with Longtime Buddy Trevor, I remember that we arrived in Newport RI at the end of May, when New England — especially resort towns like Newport — must quite possibly be the best place in the world to be at that time of year.

Sitting on the dock at Christie’s*, drinking beer and spooning down their wonderful clam chowder…

…it just doesn’t get much better than that — until it does.

Driving around sunny Newport one day in a little Fiat 124 Sport borrowed from Maryann:

(that’s not us, just two other lucky guys)

…we were listening to our favorite radio station (WHJY-Providence), when DJ Caroline Fox said, “…and here’s one from the Beach Boys for you on this awesome summer day”, and our day went from “lovely” to “fantastic”.

I don’t know if there’s any band whose music best exemplifies “Summertime in U.S.A.” quite like that of the Beach Boys.  You all know what I mean:  Surfin’ USA, Catch A Wave, Surfin’ Safari, and especially Kokomo... everybody knows what I mean.

Had I been the Beach Boys’ manager, I would have had them write and release a new “Summer” song every year (around Memorial Day, traditionally the first day of summer).

I would have pitched it to them as follows:

“Guys, nothing says SUMMER! like a Beach Boys song, and I think that it would be a great idea to signal the end of winter for the whole damn country.  It would lift people’s spirits up, and what the hell, bring in a little annual income for you guys too.  And do it every year, for as long as you guys are still alive.
“What’s that, Brian?  ‘What if we’ve broken up?’  Doesn’t matter.  For a couple days out of the year, you can all put your differences and squabbles aside, get back together at the Capitol studio, and produce one new song.  For the American people.  How difficult could that be?”

That shoulda happened, but it didn’t.  More’s the pity.


*Some fucker bought Christie’s and despite its history and popularity, tore it down and put up a “boutique” hotel in its place. [200,000 angry words redacted]

If I didn’t know better, I’d suspect Mr. Free Market.

Contrast

When faced with this:

Gary Puckett:  “You’re much too young, girl.”

Jimmy Page:  “Over there on the couch, darlin’.”


Lest anyone gets all hot and bothered by this:

  1. it’s a fucking joke, and
  2. here’s what young Maisie Smith looks like nowadays:

That’s her, in the middle.

By the way, her Mom is a total hottie:

Just so we all know where my proclivities lie.