Dead Stars

…or near death, anyway.  Saith one Damon Linker:

Behold the killing fields that lie before us:  Bob Dylan (78 years old); Paul McCartney (77); Paul Simon (77) and Art Garfunkel (77); Carole King (77); Brian Wilson (77); Mick Jagger (76) and Keith Richards (75); Joni Mitchell (75); Jimmy Page (75) and Robert Plant (71); Ray Davies (75); Roger Daltrey (75) and Pete Townshend (74); Roger Waters (75) and David Gilmour (73); Rod Stewart (74); Eric Clapton (74); Debbie Harry (74); Neil Young (73); Van Morrison (73); Bryan Ferry (73); Elton John (72); Don Henley (72); James Taylor (71); Jackson Browne (70); Billy Joel (70); and Bruce Springsteen (69, but turning 70 next month).

A few of these legends might manage to live into their 90s, despite all the … wear and tear to which they’ve subjected their bodies over the decades. But most of them will not.

…and Jimmy Page is one of the better-preserved  ones.

I’ve thought about this quite a bit over the past couple of years — I think David Bowie’s death triggered the reaction — and while I would be sad about all their deaths, I will always be grateful that their music will live on.

The same can be said for musicians and composers of a bygone era:  singers like Jimmy Durante were replaced by Tony Bennett and even as Bennett and his contemporaries have aged, guys like Harry Connick Jr. and Peter Skellern took their place (although Skellern just died recently, too — now that  gave me a shock).  The big difference between the two types of music is that while the classics belonged to everyone, young and old, rock ‘n roll was always about young people — and younger musicians like Dave Grohl (age:  50) can carry on the tradition, but only so far.

The problem is not the playing of Jimmy Page’s music or the performance of John Lennon’s In My Life;  those compositions will always inspire future musicians into performance.  The problem, as I see it, is that there aren’t any composers stepping up to create new music;  and without new songs, rock ‘n roll will fade away, just out of pure boredom.  (Tell me you don’t ever consider changing the station when Stairway To Heaven  or Hotel California  come over the air.)  Instead, most modern music is so formulaic as to be unlistenable (see here for a really  good explanation why).

Even worse is that actual music is being replaced with illiterate doggerel (rap) in the popularity stakes.  I know that my parents’ generation bewailed the replacement of Rogers & Hart’s complex music with the simplistic melodies of rock ‘n roll — ’twas ever thus — but compared to Jay Z’s musical efforts, Lennon & McCartney sound like Chopin.  Like everything else, music is being dumbed down (and down, and down), just like literature, art and movies.

As much as we joke about Keith Richards outliving the cockroach, when Keef finally pops his clogs, his creativity will be gone forever — and I have to say that as rock ‘n roll gets smaller and smaller, and rap / hip-hop gets larger and larger, there will be few if any to take his place.  Let’s not even talk about real  genius like that of Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys, Harry Nilsson or David Bowie (both of whose talents are already being missed).  Musicians like Dave Grohl (another genius, but he’s only a decade or so younger than I am) are thin on the ground right now.

Fach.  The hell with it.  I’ll be gone by the time rock fizzles out and dies, but I just hope that my Son & Heir has found someone to replace Dream Theater (average age as we speak:  52).

So Much For College

I admit that I can’t see the appeal in ginger nebbish Ed Sheeran’s music — I mean, it’s not horrible in the way that, say, Taylor Swift’s music most certainly is, but I find it… pleasant, yet unremarkable.

 

My opinion, though, doesn’t matter:  the little bugger has made more hit records and more money than he can burn with a flamethrower, and clearly, his music has touched a lot of people despite his looking like Third Dweeb From The Left in a Harry Potter movie, so I have to give him that.

What gives me the giggles, however, is that when he studied music at college, he failed.

 

It says a lot about him that he hasn’t bought out the college, fired the entire faculty and burned all the buildings to the ground.  I guess that being a zillionaire is its own revenge.

Who Knew?

We all know that Anthony Hopkins is a wonderful actor — but did anyone know that he was also a musical composer of some note?  Fifty years ago, he wrote a waltz, but was always afraid he’d be laughed at, thinking that it was no good.

He was wrong.

Some years ago, he asked pop orchestra leader André Rieu to see if he could play it — and Rieu heard it, loved it, scored it and played it last year at his annual concert in Maastricht, Belgium.

Enjoy.

And bravo, Sir Anthony.  If you’re going to be a one-hit wonder, it might as well be for this piece as any other. But he’s been writing music all his life — so encore, Maestro.

Bloodhound Gang

I’d never heard of this band before (unsurprisingly, as I regard rap as somewhere below anthrax), but I love  their song titles and lyrics.  I mean, who can resist stuff like this:

A Lapdance is So Much Better When the Stripper Is Crying
and
I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks

Besides, tell me you can argue with this statement:  “Stephen King was a better writer when he drank.”

True dat.

The best thing I can say about Bloodhound Gang is that if I were forty years younger, I’d be doing this — not in rap, of course, because I would want to play actual, you know, music — as long as I could find a like-minded bunch of musical anarchists to accompany me.

And try as I may, I cannot think of a better motto for a band than

NO REASON TO LIVE BUT WE LIKE IT THAT WAY

Fuckin’ A.

Overrated

Over at the PJ site, Chris Queen  has a list of his 10 most overrated bands/musicians.

My take on his selections:

10. Imagine Dragons — never heard of them, nor a single one of their songs.
9. Nirvana — I liked Smells Like Teen Bullshit Spirit, but the rest was lame.  As was most Seattle grunge.
8. Maroon 5 — never heard of them, nor a single one of their songs.
7. Michael Jackson — agree.  Great performer, but most of his music was awful airweight pop. Compare MJ to a genuine musician of the time like Stevie Wonder…
6. Rolling Stones — world’s most successful garage band.  Jagger’s pouting and preening was gay back in the 1960s, and it’s just embarrassing now.
5. The Doors — I don’t think they’re overrated.  Jim Morrison, despite having a great voice, was just terrible:  immature, unreliable, self-centered.  But Densmore, Krieger and Manzarek were among the best musicians of the time, and for a three-piece band? Brilliant sound.
4. Bruce Springsteen — most overrated musician on the list.  Like The Doors, the other musicians (his E Street Band) are brilliant, however.
3. Florida Georgia Line — never heard of them, nor a single one of their songs.
2. Green Day — posturing punks. Never understood the appeal.  Ditto bands like R.E.M.
1. Creedence Clearwater Revival — I didn’t mind CCR, and I don’t think they’re overrated — certainly, they shouldn’t be at #1 on his Overrated Hate Parade.  Not when there are bands around like U2 and soloists like Frank Sinatra.