Earlier this week I talked about how Yurpeen tourist places were rethinking their welcome wagon policies.
Well, here’s one place that’s doing that and I think, based on the evidence, we can all see their point:
In a desperate attempt to crack down on alcohol-fueled debauchery, enraged [Albufeira] City Hall officials on Friday approved huge new penalties of up to £3,375 for holidaymakers flouting a strict new good behavior code — with fines for everything from urinating in the street to getting naked.
The rules will kick in within weeks, in time for the summer season, aiming to curb anti-social behavior.
And locals hope they will turn the tide, with nakedness, vomiting in the street or having sex in public all now coming at a price.
Here’s what really sucks about this. I know Albufeira — I’ve been there before, and I thought it might be the prettiest little village on the whole of the Algarve coast — but that was eons ago. Clearly, things have changed, and not for the better.
And the problem is that regardless of how badly the tourists (mainly Brits, duh) might behave, the pubs and restaurants are obviously making a killing so they’re not going to do anything to stop the Louts & Sluts Brigade from trashing their town.
Sadly, it’s always the local folks who end up with a town where the streets flow with vomit, blood and semen while the publicans shrug and pocket the cash.
And then everyone will be shocked — shocked! — when the locals start posting signs that read “Muerte A Los Turistas”, “Ingleses Regressam A Casa” or “A Bas Les Rozbiffs” (depending on whether it’s Spain, Portugal or France, for instance).
What’s really needed in Albufeira is for the Porro rozzers to go all Chicago P.D. circa 1968 with these drunken assholes (men and women):

…and let them know that what might be fine in Merseyside, Manchester or Millwall is non grata when visiting Albufeira.
The problem is that the Euros in general have gone to great lengths to pussify their various police forces, so that very logical avenue will denied them — but it is, at the end of the day, the only language that these oafs understand. Until that time, then, nothing will change, and fines aren’t going to do diddly.