Dealing with alien beings
Via Insty:
The article talks about “90 seconds” in terms of its duration, but who the hell can keep going for that long? We’re not animals, you know.
So ladies: the next time the old man asks for a little quickie, he’s really doing it for your own good. Even better if it’s cowgirl.
Most of this article is behind a paywall, but it doesn’t matter as its theme is apparent:
Liberal Women Vow Four-Year Sex Strike To Protest Trump’s Victory And Punish Trump’s Male Supporters
As always with these deluded idiots, they begin on a faulty premise: in this case, that men will fuck anything, even liberal women. The first part is generally speaking true, but the second part?
Nazzo fast, Karen.
In fact, I would imagine most men, let alone conservative men, will be relieved that they don’t have to interact with these foul harridans, with their solipsistic self-absorption, near-insanity and exaggerated perception of their own worth in the sexual marketplace.
So go ahead and delete your dating apps, womyns; conservative men are more interested in getting married and having children anyway, so your withdrawal will simply make their job easier. And non-feminazi women — yeah, “traditional” women — will appreciate the lack of competition even more.
From SOTI:
“You know, once you’ve got past the thrill of conquest, as a rule, most women are pretty boring. In and out of bed.”
Could even be something I would say, but I’m just an old cynic.
“Dear Dr. Kim:
“I have been happily married to my husband for two years now. We met when I was in my late 20s and we tied the knot when I was 31. I’d never had a serious relationship before, and I used to travel around for work – so I’ll admit that I’d slept with a fair few people before we met.
“Not that it’s something we ever discussed.
“Last week, however, my husband told me his best friend had discovered his girlfriend’s ‘body count’ and was horrified by the total. His girlfriend had admitted to sleeping with 20 people, a number judged by my husband and his friend to be ‘extremely high’.
“Then, out of curiosity, he asked what my ‘body count’ was. And, having heard his outrage at 20, I decided to lie. A little panicked, I claimed I’d slept with no more than 15 guys.
“It turned out that my husband was disturbed even by that lower estimate – and admitted that he found ‘so many’ sexual partners to be a little off-putting.
“Yet the truth is that I’ve slept with well over 50 men, so many that I’ve lost count. Now I don’t know what to do. Should I stick to my lie and just hope the subject never comes up again?” — Heels-Up Harriet
Dear Harlot errrr Harriet:
It’s always so healthy to base your relationship on a total lie, isn’t it? Okay, here’s the deal.
The topic is going to pop up again, because your hubby is clearly one of those “vulnerable” men who feels that your previous shags will form the basis of a comparison to his performance — and it might, might it not?
However, having lied and given the number as fifteen, you may as well stick with it; but here’s how to rationalize it. Assuming that you started at age 19 or 20 (I’m going with averages here, as most women “claim” hem hem to have lost their mimsy-wall during their first- or second year at university), that number of fifteen translates into fewer than two men a year in the decade before you met him — which, to be honest, is not that horrendous in this day and age — and if he does bring it up again, show him the math, so to speak. (Maybe even that number will be too high for Hubby, in which case you are in deep shit — okay, deeper than you are already.)
Just pray that one of your female BFFs doesn’t let your actual number slip during a Drunken Party Episode, or as a way of getting a revenge shag out of Hubby, just for spite.
Welcome to the Sexual Minefield, honey.
— 
From the Daily Mail:
Hannah Waddingham wants a man to scoop her up, take her to bed and afterwards eat Marmite on toast with her.
The multi-talented Ted Lasso star said she can’t remember when she last had a first date but admits to being ‘just a bit picky’.
‘I’m 50 and I’m like, ‘Dude, if you are not going to step up, step off and be gone’.
Okay, if I may be a bit picky myself…
The redoubtable Hannah has a few things going in her favor, and quite a few not. For starters, she’s tolerably good-looking for an old broad in her 50s.
But, and I hesitate even to say this, unless she’s going to date bodybuilders, her Amazonian frame ain’t going to be “scooped up” anytime soon. Okay, cheap shot; it was a metaphor. But even then, she has to be aware that she’s an actress, with all the fuckwittery and moonbattyness attached thereto; most eligible men of around her age are quite aware of this, and will try to avoid it wherever possible. (Younger men, of course, would just go for the tits and celebrity she brings to the party, but they’re unlikely to be satisfactory outside the bed and red carpet. Unless that’s all she wants.)
Lastly, Marmite is a dreadful substance. It is regarded as a delicacy by some Brits, but it has also come to define something that you either love or hate. One hopes that she’s not insistent on the post-coital Marmite thing, because that too would cut out a considerable number of men from the dating pool.
Were I available for said Hannah-bonkery duty, I’d run a mile — and I’m probably not the only one.
Here ya go:
The most searched sex positions…
Just in case you were wondering… and no, I’ve never heard of any of those positions either.