Tag: Suckage

Things that totally suck

News Roundup

Bad News

All the news that’s fit to summarize.


…which worked SO well in the Middle Ages against bubonic plague, didn’t it?  And btw, the world was doing just fine until the godless Chinese started spreading yet another pandemic around the place.


…into what?


…meanwhile, in the real world where people have to eat…


…just as long as said undocumented workers can produce a 2019 or 2020 tax return.  (FIFY)


…you had me at “Mitt Joins With A Democrat”.

Coronavirus Bulldozes the 2020 Race Out of the Media Spotlight

…cloud, silver lining, etc. etc.


…oh, and Harry:  you know that $25 million yer Dad is going to send your way each year?  You get to pay U.S. taxes on it, when you eventually do have to get your green card in order to stay here full-time.  Welcome to America.


…told ya.


…and only a few dozen million of them were put together or handled by people infected with the virus.  Prove me wrong.

And finally:  


…and I didn’t see a single one.

Hoofbeats

Bad News

When the downfall of Western Civilization is chronicled in centuries to come, and historians say of us as we say now of the Roman Empire:  “How did such a thing happen?”, I would suggest that they first examine things like this, and the society which gave birth to them:

Belching Beaver Brewery’s ‘Viva La Beaver’ Mexican Chocolate Peanut Butter Stout

It is difficult, even for me, to enunciate just how much Wrong is inside one simple line of text.

Time for some restorative measures to take the taste out of my mouth… and it’s not even 7am CDT.

Restraint

Two-Minute Hate

If some mook showed up at my house wearing a “FLORIDUH!” t-shirt and threatened to kill me, saying, “I gorra knife!” and my security detail didn’t shoot the asshole in the face, I’d be interviewing their replacements as we speak.  Sadly, the White House security detail seems to be operating under De Blasio Rules of Engagement (“Love him, kiss him, ask him to tell you about his mother” ), and so this choirboy is still alive, even though he threatened to perform a little home-made impeachment on God-Emperor Trump.

And speaking of De Blasio City, the NYPD somehow didn’t put fifty bullets into the bastard who decided to do a little impromptu RIF on two of their cops, but arrested him instead (only after he ran out of ammo).  Which means that he’ll be released back into the population in time to have a cup of tea wif his Momma (pursuant to current NYFC legislation).

By now, both these tools (Floriduh Man and Homeboy) should be being referred to as “the late” or “the deceased”;  instead, they’re going to be coddled and become heroes of The Left and all New York criminals [some overlap], respectively.

We’re getting too soft.

Hoofbeats? Yup, Definitely

Modernism

“It is called a manicure after all!”

Actually, “manicure” has nothing to do with men.  It derives from the Latin word manus (hand).  But if only ignorance were the biggest of my complaints.

Great Jupiter’s Ravished Anus.

“I like having a new way to express myself,” Cusick tells The Post. “My wife gets her nails done regularly, and after I started painting my nails at home, she suggested I come along with her. I see celebrities doing it all the time.”
Cusick opted for black nails with a skull design that he found on Instagram under the hashtag #guynails, which has more than 1,400 posts. Next month, he plans to go back to get “something book-themed” for a publishing party.
“I’m already a bit obsessed,” Cusick says. “I’ve always been comfortable with fashion that’s not stereotypically masculine. This just feels like a natural extension of that.”

I feel queasy just having read the article.

News Roundup

Bad News, Funny Stuff

1)  British holidaymaker, 71, is shot dead on tourist paradise of Turks and Caicos as robbers burst into house to steal cash and jewellery —  fake news;  private citizens are banned from owning guns in T&C, so this couldn’t possibly have happened.

2)  British vegan activist is covered in blood when ‘farmers chase her down a motorway and shoot through her car window after she freed 16 of their rabbits’ —  looks like the Spanish farmers need more range time.

3)  ISIS strap suicide vests to COWS and blow the animals up in attack that failed to kill any humans in Iraq —  that’s the end of ISIS:  now they’ve pissed off PETA.  (Funny how there aren’t any “militant vegan activists” in Iraq…)

4)  Hundreds of illegal guns flood city after gun ban —  let’s hear it for “Australian-style” gun control.

5)  Women marry men for money — and if there aren’t men rich enough, they don’t marry at all.   Another big surprise.

6)  Bonk more, and life feels better —  another shocker, brought to you by !Science!

7)  Mugabe dies —  about time, and about forty years too late.  Africa wins again.

Copyright Maze

Legal Stuff, Two-Minute Hate

It appears that the U.S. Senate is getting serious about people using stuff they found on the Intarwebs:

A bi-partisan bill working its way through Congress could drastically change how copyright claims are processed, and would create a system to impose up to $30,000 in fines on anyone who shares protected material online.
In other words, the Congress wants to make it easier to sue people who send a meme or post images that they didn’t create themselves, essentially a giveaway to lawyers who sue unsuspecting suckers for a living.

…and once more, a little more of life’s pleasures is sucked dry by the lawyers and politicians.

One of these days, I can see people going to a party sued by the studios (especially the godless Disney Corporation) just for wearing a character’s costume without prior approval from an attorney at Bloodsucker, Lamprey and Leech LLP.

Having recently been sued (and forced to settle out of court) by some cocksucker and his copyright huckster attorney for using an old photograph (which can be found all over the Internet and which had no attribution when I found it, so copyright was impossible to establish in the first place), I know exactly what’s involved here.  (And if he or his shyster butt-buddy should chance to read this:  by not identifying you or the work involved, I’m not breaking the terms of our agreement, you money-grabbing motherfuckers.  It’s the principle  I’m talking about — not that either of you would even begin to comprehend the word.  FOAD.)

So as of today, expect to see only memes and such created by myself (e.g. see below), unless linked to the site of origin.

And that goes for the lawyers’ little lickspittles in the Senate as well.  FOAD all of you, too.