Dream Garden

According to Some Survey Or Other (Science!!!), this is what most Brits dream of when thinking about their ideal garden:

Okay, some of them are just daffy — a maze? — and good luck getting the go-kart track past the neighbors (unless you’re going to be racing electric go-karts).

I am as given to dreaming and wishful thinking as any, and probably more than most;  but I can’t help thinking that having so many outdoor activity features (yoga areas, outdoor gym etc.) are not going to be used that often given a climate in which Britain’s principal export is rain.

Also, excepting bloated plutocrats such as Mr. Free Market (whose estate holdings make Prince Charles look like a slum dweller) and Top Gear’s Richard Hammond (who has a castle), most Brit houses have an average outdoor area which can be measured just as well in square inches as feet — and not the 88-foot “desirable” backyard they dream of.

In Kim Terms, 88 feet couldn’t even accommodate a 25-yard indoor pistol range, which leads me to my next point.

Notably absent from all the Brit dream gardens is anything devoted to shooting.  I know that the BritGov (a pox be upon it) seems to frown on the shooting sports, but nowhere on the above do I see listed even something as innocuous as an archery range.  (I have a well-founded suspicion that a similar list taken from a poll of my Readers would have a 100-yard rifle range near the top, followed closely by a 1,000-yard playground where one could happily play with Barrett rifles etc.)

So, on to just such a poll.  In Comments, please list — in order — the top 10 most desirable features you’d like to see in your “back yard” (define it however you wish:  “back forty” is also acceptable).   Don’t bother with explanations or exposition;  the inclusions should be pretty much self-explanatory, e.g. “four-bay 25-yard air-conditioned indoor pistol range” (which would be in my own top 3, incidentally).

No mazes.  Also exclude strange exotica such as “hippie burial ground” and the like.  This is a serious poll. [eyecross]

Have fun with it, and limit ten, please.

Still No Spectators

I spoke about sports being played in empty stadiums because of the Chinkvirus — which I can sorta understand, because by their very nature and architecture, stadiums cram people together in their seats.

I do not understand why Augusta National is holding their postponed tournament without spectators, though.

Since our initial announcement to postpone the 2020 Masters, we have remained committed to a rescheduled Tournament in November while continually examining how best to host a global sporting event amid this pandemic. As we have considered the issues facing us, the health and safety of everyone associated with the Masters always has been our first and most important priority.
Throughout this process, we have consulted with health officials and a variety of subject matter experts. Ultimately, we determined that the potential risks of welcoming patrons and guests to our grounds in November are simply too significant to overcome.
Even in the current circumstances, staging the Masters without patrons is deeply disappointing. The guests who come to Augusta each spring from around the world are a key component to making the Tournament so special. Augusta National has the responsibility, however, to understand and accept the challenges associated with this virus and take the necessary precautions to conduct all aspects of the Tournament in a safe manner. We look forward to the day when we can welcome all of our patrons back, hopefully in April 2021.

I don’t think that the problem is as bad as they make it sound — assuming that there even is a problem by the time the tournament begins — but Augusta National has always been a sensible kind of operation (except when they allowed women to become members, that is), so there it is.

I for one always watch the Masters on TV — I can’t remember ever missing it.  Even when I still lived in Seffrica I’d stay awake through the night to watch Player and Nicklaus and Palmer grappling with the course.

Playing Augusta was once a Bucket List item, but no more:  I’m too old, and my golf game, always kinda shit, would make me a laughing stock if I did somehow manage to get to play there.

I’d still like to drive a fast-ish car around Spa Francorchamps, though;  not in a race, but maybe on a Track Day.

I’m not too old for that.  Especially in one of these:

Hopeless Crush

In looking back over the posts I’ve put up since I returned to blogging, I see that I’ve inexplicably given short shrift to a woman I’ve had a crush on since… well, since I first became aware of her back in the 1980s.  In fact, when I did speak of Olympic skating gold medallist Katarina Witt on these pages, I relegated her to a backup reservist among my Desert Island Dames.

That’s just wrong.

So herewith a short pictorial on this German hottie:

And of course, there was that unforgettable Playboy pictorial, at the ripe old age of 33:

I am so weak…

Concept Album

The Small Faces made probably the finest album of 1967 (excepting Sergeant Pepper), and certainly my favorite.  Enjoy the ramble through the psychedelic thoughts of Steve Marriott, Ronnie Lane, Kenney Jones and Ian McLagan, ending with the Stanley Unwin recitation of the story of Happiness Stan.

Brilliance on so many levels and way ahead of its time, musically speaking.

And a bonus:  Itchycoo Park.

Oh, To Be In England

…in normal times (whatever those are these days).

In Boscastle, Cornwall, where The Englishman has a holiday cottage, a local restaurant has set up a 24-hour webcam to show the outskirts of the village where the river runs down the hill on its way to the Atlantic.  Yesterday I went there, expecting to find a black screen.  Silly rabbit, I forgot it was England (note the time stamp):

I sat for a while, just watching as the occasional car went past on the road and people walked up and down the paths which run along both sides of the stream, and my mind went back two and a half years, when I was there all by myself…

A pint of Tribute Ale (local Cornish brew, on a par with Wadworth 6x) at the Cobweb Inn, hot fresh rolls from the little Spar grocery store behind from where we’re watching, and of course, the matchless fish ‘n chips from Sharon’s Plaice, just behind us to the right.

It’s a scene as familiar to me as my own backyard, it was one of the best weeks of my life, and I wish I was there right now.


Update:  15 minutes later:

Time to turn in.


Update 2:  The Englishman writes:

I too logged on yesterday to see the sunset.  The little building opposite the Old Store House has been turned into a bijou restaurant.
A lady staggered out with a bunch of flowers and meandered up the path to the bus stop which provided much needed vertical stability.  It was a joy to watch, especially with the jeopardy of the stream edge which she was close to several times.
I wish I had been there.

The Midi

Everyone owes it to themselves to visit the South of France, especially the Provence and Louberon areas.  There’s something different about the place, and not just the architecture and scenery:  even the light is unlike anywhere I’ve ever been.  When you see artwork as painted by Cezanne and Van Gogh, you look at the light and think that the golden tint that diffuses the scenery is unrealistic or even fake, but it isn’t — it really does look like that.  (It’s best visited in summer, by the way:  winter has a different light altogether, as I discovered when I toured the area with Longtime Friend Knob a couple years back.)

Anyway, all that is to introduce an artist I’ve never seen before (introduced to me by New Wife, by the way), who apparently specializes in painting scenes from the Midi:  Laurent Parcelier is his name, and here’s an example:

Painting Artist Laurent Parcelier at WOoArts

This one serves as the wallpaper on my laptop as we speak.

Here’s another:

Painting Artist Laurent Parcelier at WOoArts

Yes, that’s exactly what the sunlight looks like in Provence — I’ve seen several places that could be carbon copies of the above.

You can find some of Parcelier’s other works over here.  Unusually (for me), I like just about every single one of them.

Enjoy browsing.  And the website, WOoarts.com, has some other interesting artists as well.