Tag: Things that totally suck

Reason #472

Nannies, Technology, Wokism

…why I won’t use Microsoft Word:

The function produces a purple line beneath words or phrases it deems problematic while offering more ‘inclusive’ alternatives, and is included on the Office 365 version of Microsoft Word from 2019 onwards.

Recommended improvements to your usage:

  • Whitelist > Accepted List
  • Postman > Postal Worker
  • Mankind > Humanity
  • Maid > House Cleaner
  • Showgirl > Performing Artist
  • Master > Expert
  • Mistress > Lover
  • Manpower > Workforce
  • Heroine > Hero

For the record, I quit using Microsoft Office decades ago, for all sorts of reasons, among them:

  • Word has too many features that I can’t, don’t or won’t use
  • Excel is a shit spreadsheet program (Lotus 1-2-3 and Quattro were far better)
  • Don’t get me started about Outlook, ever since MS killed Express
  • None of the other Office products are of any use to me since I retired, and I preferred Paradox to Access anyway when I was still working
  • MS Office is WAY too expensive for its actual utility.

So I use Apache OpenOffice, which while it has a few drawbacks of its own, is at least free (Writer and Calc work just fine for what I do), and Thunderbird for email.

I remember pointing the Son&Heir at OpenOffice many years ago when he was at college, and he found it worked for all his writing assignments and math homework.  He’s been grateful to me ever since, and I don’t think he’s ever used MS Office (although since he moved to Global MegaBanc Inc. that may have changed, I must ask him).

So fuck Microsoft, fuck their wokedom and by the way, fuck Windows 11, for which I’ve started getting those irritating little spam pop-up messages.

And One More Thing

Architecture, Two-Minute Hate

After the British Virgin Islands were smacked by not one but two Cat 5 hurricanes in quick succession, most of the islands suffered massive property damage.

Since then, a lot of the wreckage has been rebuilt, and not to World Emperor Kim’s liking, either.  Try this little piece of heaven:

The caption for the pic was “Paradise restored”.

Paradise was not restored;  it was beaten to death with a lead pipe, driven over a few times by a Chieftain tank, and the remains wrapped in concrete and barbed wire.

Would it be wrong for me to wish for a Category 10 hurricane to come calling over there some time soon?

Monster

Nature

Talking about spiders, there’s this new discovery:

The arachnid measures over 8 centimeters from foot to foot and has dark hair. The most impressive feature of the “megaspider” might be its fangs. The spider wields fangs that measure almost an inch long, and they reportedly have the ability to pierce a person’s fingernail.

Key word:  Australia.

Confederacy Of Awful

Architecture, Modernism

In the traditional sense, the word “awful” had the precise opposite of its meaning today;  something “awful” (or “awe-full”) created awe in the listener or viewer, rather than making one want to puke.

I suspect that “awe-full” was intended in the creation of this list.  But as one who as World Emperor would impose a retroactive global ban on any structure taller than twenty floors, the list simply makes me want to head for the barf bag.

As far as I’m concerned, of course, “Ten Best Skyscrapers” could just as easily be “Ten Best Snakebites”.  That this is an annual competition depresses me even more.  Here’s one example, taken at random:

And, to add insult to injury, the “Tour Alto” (6th place) is in Paris.

Kill them all.

Oh, How Nice

Celebrities, Immigration

Here they come.  First it was the tech companies coming to Dallas and Austin, now it’s the fucking movie people?

Hollywood stars are leaving Tinseltown behind to recast their lives in Austin, Texas.

What comes next?  Did you have to ask?

Yet even those accustomed to Austin’s growing pains have been stunned by the pandemic’s fallout, which rocketed housing prices by 43 percent in one year — the steepest climb of any major metro area in the country. Tales abound of home sellers being bombarded with all-cash offers the moment a property hits the market. During the first half of the year, 1,440 Austin-area houses sold for more than $100,000 over asking (versus 22 houses in the same period the previous year).

Here’s the good news, though.  Leaving L.A. for Austin is like jumping from a pile of dogshit into a pile of cowshit.

The homeless problem created by Adler and the city council has had a decidedly negative impact on the city and its residents. Crime involving homeless suspects has seen a drastic increase over the past two years.
…
To make matters worse, the “defund the police initiative” and the anti-police sentiment that has been encouraged by the far-left politicians that govern Austin have pushed an alarming number of officers to resign or move to other departments. Each of these factors has contributed to making the city less safe, but the city council and Mayor Steve Adler don’t seem to care.

Welcome to Los Angeles-lite, assholes.

Other Priorities

Crime, Gypsies Tramps & Thieves, Mocking Furriners

I spoke of Victoria Coren a little while back, and now it’s time to call on her brother Giles, albeit for different reasons:

Giles Coren exploded with rage on social media this morning as he revealed thieves pinched his £65,000 eco-Jaguar for the second time in just three months.
The TV presenter, 51, turned detective back in April after his beloved car was stolen but police told him they didn’t have the ‘manpower to investigate’.

Of course they don’t.  Perhaps it’s because if you go on Twatter and call a footballer a nigger, the response will be dramatic, and immediate.  But to continue:

In an incredible thread, [Coren] posted pictures of his journey in tracking down the Jaguar I-Pace, which he eventually found in Highgate, north London, telling followers he ‘got his electric kitty cat back’.

Didn’t help much.  After spending a small fortune to re-key his car and change all its “anti-theft” doodads, the car was stolen again, leaving Coren in an incandescent rage.

In a furious tweet, Mr Coren wrote: ‘They’ve stolen my fucking car AGAIN!!!! Cost me three grand to reset the keys and put in a new tracking system after last time and what good does it do? FUCK ALL.
‘If you see a black Jaguar iPace reg ending JVN could you tell me? I’ll give you a million pounds.’

Giles, ol’ buddy:  if you’re going to drop a million bucks, you should rather move out of London, to a more law-abiding place like say, Reading.

I’ll give him the last word, though:

The food critic began: ‘Last night the cunts stole my new Jaguar I-Pace. So Fuck them, fuck the environment and fuck any sort of giving a shit about cars.
‘I’m buying a six year old diesel fucking Skoda and everyone can just fuck off.’

Note to the Greens:  when you’ve lost the food critics… after all, this electric car thing will soon lose its allure for other reasons.