[10,000-word rant about the stupidity of switching between Standard Time and Daylight Savings Time deleted]
Tag: Things that totally suck
More Corporate Nannies
Here’s a story which provoked an instant RCOB from me:
A supermarket advert that was set to appear on the London Underground was rejected by rail bosses…
The poster, submitted by online food delivery company Farmdrop, featured a family gathered around a kitchen island with the tagline ‘fresher, fairer groceries delivered to your door’.
Here’s the ad’s pic. Try to spot why the thing was deemed offensive.
No, it wasn’t because one of the actors is a ginger. Here’s the actual reason the ad was rejected:
…because it contained bacon, butter, eggs and jam.
The only possible way I could have been more angered was if it was banned because it contains a picture of a chicken, and the vegans complained about that (I know, I shouldn’t give those poxy fuckers any ideas).
There’s only one remedy to overcome my rage at this point:
…and for the toast, some Irish butter and two of my favorite jams:
Bon appetit, y’all.
Eucalyptus Now
Can anyone else hear the hoofbeats? No? Then read this appalling news:
They were the must-have accessory of the eighties and nineties but quickly fell out of fashion.
And now the humble bum bag, also known in the US as the fanny pack, has made a surprising comeback with top designers and celebrities championing the once wildly-mocked accessory.
Fashion houses such as Gucci, Prada and Louis Vuitton have all showcased bum bags on the catwalk.
And unlike the garish bright, polyester styles of the eighties and nighties, designers have given the accessory a sophisticated makeover with smart leather styles often called ‘belt bags’.
And if that isn’t enough to turn your stomach:
Style-savvy models and celebrities have been spotted donning this sought-after accessory, including Taylor swift who was spotted sporting the ‘Ophidia’ bag by Gucci over the weekend.
Oy vey. (No pics, because I refuse to be responsible for mass projectile vomiting.)
All that said, I have to confess to owning one of these horrible things. It’s made of polyester, it’s in my SHTF bin, and it holds five 10-round 1911 magazines. For emergency use only, when I don’t care what I look like and there are multiple goblins to be shot.
News Roundup
…wherein I’m too lazy to make a full post about stuff:
1) Valerie is saved! — Thank goodness. Now I can continue to add inches to my waistline by eating their pastries every time I go to Britishland.
2) Rio cops execute violent choirboys on the spot — Now quit that cheering and applause. And no, I have no idea when ICE are going to implement the same policy when faced with armed cross-border drug smugglers.
3) “If [an active shooter] walks onto this campus, they’re going to be shot and killed.” — It’ll be interesting to see if school shootings ever occur in these schools from now on. And if any of my south Floriduh Readers are looking for a part-time gig…
4) Sexbots could be hazardous for your health — Oh puh-leeze. I know more than a few women (including some ex-girlfriends) who would pose a far greater threat than a collection of latex and transistors. Think: Terminator, with tits. (Yes, Cheryl, I’m thinking of you.)
5) Amazon tells NYC to fuck off — These are the perils of trying to do business in a Socialist environment. Frankly, I think Amazon should breathe a sigh of relief, because they just dodged a BIG bullet.
5 Reasons Not To Go To Australia
So it looks like our April trip to Oz has had to be called off, or at best postponed for a long time. Here are the five reasons why:
1) They won’t let me take any of my guns into the country
3) No cricket (the season has ended)
4) I hate snakes
…and the actual reason:
5) Angie can’t leave the country until her permanent residence visa gets approved, minimum six months’ time.
Now ask me whether we got a refund for our canceled air tickets from Qantas Fucking Airlines…
Tragedy
As Longtime Readers may know, one of my favorite stops when I’m in Britishland is Patisserie Valerie, which makes some of the best pastries I’ve ever tasted (along with outstanding croissants at breakfast time). Apparently, quality merchandise hasn’t been enough:
Patisserie Holdings plc announces today that, as a direct result of the significant fraud referred to in previous announcements, it has been unable to renew its bank facilities, and therefore regrettably the business does not have sufficient funding to meet its liabilities as they fall due.
As a consequence, the directors have appointed partners at KPMG as administrators to the company and its various subsidiaries.
The Chairman Luke Johnson has personally extended an unsecured, interest-free loan to help ensure that the January wages are paid to all staff working in the ongoing business.
This Loan will also assist the administrators in trading as many profitable stores as possible while a sale process is undertaken.
Needless to say, stores will be closed and people will lose their jobs.
This after one of its senior executives siphoned money out of the place to support his jet-set lifestyle. And if I could get hold of the asshole, his legal and financial problems would be the least of his problems.
Yes, I take my pastries that seriously.