Quote Of The Day

From SOTI:

“The secret to Paris is to go to any of the major sites, turn around, and walk 45 minutes in the opposite direction.  Paris becomes absolutely lovely.”

Couldn’t agree more.  One of the highlights of one of my trips to Paris was walking from the Louvre / Palais Royal to our apartment on the Place de la Bastille, all the way along the Rue de Rivoli / Rue Ste-Antoine.

Of course, the above were taken with Google maps, during the summer.  I was there in December, so the streets looked nothing like this. Here’s the Place de la Bastille as it actually was:
Yeah, something about “witch’s tit cold” comes to mind…

Depends On Your Definition

Oh look!  another one of those “foreign country” lists, only this time it’s all about “friendliness” towards newcomers — specifically expatriates — to the country.  (I’ll talk about that definition further down the page.)

Here’s the list in its entirety.

Let’s just talk about that “friendliness” thing.  The article states:

The result comes from a survey by InterNations, an expat guide, which asked foreign residents in 53 countries around the globe to rate their new home. 
Expats were asked about their social life, whether they felt at home, how easy it was to get used to the culture and the friendliness of the local population.

Right away, I’m going to disqualify from the list any Muslim country — e.g. Turkey and Kuwait — because if you ain’t Muslim yourself (and follow their specific brand of Islam withal) — your treatment by the locals is not going to be that friendly.  That Qatar (22), for example, ranks far ahead of the United States (38) makes the whole list suspect.

Other than religion, which is an obvious speedbump, let’s see how friendly the locals are when you don’t speak — or don’t attempt to speak — their language.  At best you’ll get a shrug;  at worst, you’ll encounter withering xenophobia.  This is especially true of nations for whom English is not the de facto  language of government, or where English is hardly spoken outside a few places in the cities.

I’m not going to re-rank the listings because it’s a big job, and I haven’t been to most of the countries on the list anyway.  But from what I’ve seen…

The only countries I’d even consider moving to — becoming an expat — on the basis of the likely friendliness of the locals, anyway, are the following (in no specific order):

Chile — been there, loved the place, loved the locals that I met when I was there, and I’d make it my first order of business to become fluent in Spanish within a few months, by crash courses, immersion, whatever.  I’m pretty sure I could fit into the culture without much difficulty and I’m pretty sure I could make a go of living there for the rest of my life.  And I love Chilean food, all of it.

Czechia — never been there myself, but everyone I’ve spoken to who has been there for longer than a year has had nothing but good things to say about living there, and that’s good enough for me.  I’d need a lot longer to learn the language because it’s not Anglo-Romantic or Germanic but Western Slavic, although written in Latin script and not Cyrillic.  (This latter factor would disqualify several of the other countries, such as Greece, because I’m not interested in learning how to read as well as to speak.)  I don’t think that immersion would work because there are no points of linguistic similarity between the European languages I do speak and Czech.  So:  a struggle, but probably worth it.  As for Czech food:  like German, it’s apparently heavily weighted towards pork, which does get a little tiring after a while.  That said, I want to try their pork knuckle (koleno)  because apparently it’s incredible.  And there’s always goulash, which I could live on quite easily, and schnitzel, although I prefer the Austrian veal dish to pork.

Poland — same as Czechia.  I have never met a native Pole (and there have been quite a few) whom I’ve not liked immediately, but I realize that learning the language would be hellish difficult (it’s close to Czech, actually).  But I’d be willing to give it a shot.  The only (minor) problem might be the Polish cuisine;  I’ve eaten more than a few Polish dishes in and around Chicago and Milwaukee in places where I was the only customer not speaking Polish, and on the whole I found the food to be bland and kinda tasteless.  And I don’t care much for pirogi…

Netherlands — I’ve been there a couple of times, and I’m pretty sure I could fit in there.  I found the Dutch to be warm and friendly people — in the cities, anyway — and while parts of their culture jar me a bit, they are cosmopolitan enough to where I could adapt quite easily.  The cuisine is likewise quite cosmopolitan and if I wanted, I could always get something familiar — possibly the only advantage to having grown up Afrikaans is the Dutch-like food I had as a kid.  (Pannekoek, yum frigging yum.)

Belgium — just not in Brussels, which I hated.  I could handle Flemish without too much problem — it’s reasonably close to Afrikaans, actually — and the food is lovely.  I know someone who moved from South Africa to Antwerp, and she and her husband fitted in without any trouble whatsoever.

In passing:  one thing I have learned is that Chile, Czechia, Belgium and Poland all have pretty reasonable attitudes towards personal gun ownership;  the Dutch rather less so.

Missing from the above list is Argentina, perhaps because not that many people have moved there and the sample was too thin, but I might be persuaded to look at Buenos Aires.  At least they and the Uruguayans have the right attitude towards beef… and I’ve been ordered to put Buenos on Ye Olde Bucquette Lyste by someone who said she’d move there tomorrow if she could.

In a lot of these countries, I’d never even try to move there because one of my absolute must-haves is the ability to drink water from a tap without suffering any short- or long-term physical illness.  (Bye bye, India.)

As for pretty much all the rest:  pass*.


*Some people might be wondering why I no longer wish to live in Britishland, but the reason is simple:  the cities and larger towns are too crime-ridden, and in the country a newcomer mostly faces at best indifference and often withering xenophobia.  Maybe I might be persuaded to try a few places in the UK, but overall the quality of life Over There is no longer as attractive as it once was, despite sausage rolls and Wadworth 6X.  Of course, I have several friends in England, which might make it easier to settle in;  but all in all, that’s not enough to sway the argument.  (Sorry, Sorensons and The Englishman.)  I should also point out that I have somewhat fewer friends in Britishland than I once did, because quite a number have moved abroad and have no intention of ever coming back.  In fact, there is a far greater chance of several more coming Over Here to live with me… because they absolutely hate what Britain has become (neo-fascist).  And I’m pretty sure that my ummm speech would not be to the liking of the fuzz.

*Also, France.  There are parts where I could settle in quite easily from a cultural perspective, but let me tell you, the Frogs are not that friendly towards strangers.  Some expats have lucked out in this regard, but it’s not the way to bet — hell, I’d be speaking French fluently within a month or so, and still I’d struggle.  And like with the Brits, French TV really sucks.  And Man shall not live by French bread and cheese alone, although I’d give it a college try.

And you all know how I feel about Strylia.

Let Africa Split

Okay, that’s just a silly play on the title of an essay some guy once wrote, but this development is interesting:

Scientists have warned that Africa is breaking apart faster than previously thought.

A 35-mile-long fissure in Ethiopia’s desert emerged in 2005 but has since been widening at a rate of half an inch per year.

Researchers previously believed the split would take tens of millions of years, but Ken Macdonald, a professor at the University of California, Santa Barbara, told DailyMail.com that it would likely happen within one to five million years.

The separation would also create a new ocean and continent on Earth. 

No doubt, someone will soon be ascribing this to Global Warming Climate Cooling Change©, because reasons.

Take-Home Foods

As someone who’s traveled quite a bit, this article struck a chord with me:

A recent Reddit discussion has highlighted how trips abroad are capable of permanently changing a traveller’s diet, with commenters revealing foreign dishes they had on their travels that they now can’t stop eating. 

The list includes acai from Brazil*, Morocco’s cinnamon-dusted oranges, onigiri (Japanese rice balls), pasteis de nata (milk custard tart) from Portugal, ajvar (a red pepper paste) from the Balkans and even spaghetti carbonara  from Italy — which is quite different from the stuff you’ll get at Olive Garden, trust me.   (There’s other less-salutary stuff like haggis and buffalo wings on their list, but whatever.)

*can someone tell me the difference between acai and blueberries?

One of the foods on the Reddit list struck home for me:  French baguette and butter — which, having sampled it in Paris, made me refuse to eat American shelf bread ever again. Seriously.  Who would have thought that simple bread and butter would be an exquisite meal all by itself?  (Well, anyone who’s ever tasted the real stuff.)  It’s one of the few dishes which I prefer eating with unsalted butter, because the bread becomes unutterably sweeter.

That Portuguese tart (not Sarah Hoyt) is very familiar to me as the Afrikaans melk tert (they’re almost identical, and the Seffricans have even made a cream liqueur based on its taste).  The only difference is that the Porros use puff pastry instead of pie crust pastry.  Hmmmm… now that’s a thought.

I”m going to try the Moroccan oranges this weekend after I’ve done the Friday shopping (no oranges in the house), but with three different sugars as an experiment to see which tastes best.  (Light brown, Demarara or 10x mixed with the cinnamon, in case you’re wondering.)

I’ll also try making ajvar,  which sounds like hummus mixed with ground spicy red peppers, but I’ll use South African Peppadew spicy peppers because they are spectacular.

There are a couple that I’ve encountered on my travels which I wish were staples Over Here.

One of my all-time favorite imported meals happens to be poutines, from Canuckistan, but only one place around here makes them properly (the Holy Grail pub in Plano).  I must have eaten poutines at least twice a day when driving back from Montreal to Detroit, along with Tim Horton’s coffee to wash them down.

Another is Viennese Sachertorte which, having had some in meine schones Wien, would kill me if I could find it here because aaaaargh it’s luvverly.

Over Here, we’d call it “death by chocolate”, because it really is.

There are a few others, but I think they would be best enjoyed in their home countries (e.g. pisco sours in Chile and Welsh rarebit in Britishland).  Of Wadworth 6X and Greggs sausage rolls we will not speak.

And so, Gentle Readers:  tell me about your favorite furrin dishes, in Comments.

I Did Not Know That

…the term “rawdogging” had this meaning, in a travel sense:

A new travel phenomenon has swept TikTok in the form of ‘rawdogging,’ which means consuming no form of entertainment during a flight – except for the basic maps or data shown on the seatback screen.

Taking it to greater extremes, some will also claim to forgo food and drink for the duration of the journey.

Many videos show travelers with blank expressions as they stare into space, while overlaid captions brag about them completing the challenge. 

However, a team of travel experts from the site Netflights have now warned that the practice can have many negative impacts.

And here I thought “rawdogging” on a flight meant some kind of unprotected sexual congress with a flight attendant.  Shows what I know.

Anyway, while I can sort of see the experts’ [coff coff]  point, I don’t buy into their argument wholeheartedly.  I quite like to sit and gaze into space with a “blank expression”;  in my day, that was called “quiet contemplation”, and on short-haul flights I do it all the time, not needing constant stimulation to be happy, or at least passably happy.  Transoceanic flights are a different animal, however, but a decent couple of “disposable” books — ones that can be tossed without regret after completion — usually fit the bill admirably.  And I loathe airline movies because they’ve mostly been bowdlerized Because Of Teh Kiddies.

Also forget forgoing food and drink on a long flight;  that’s just plain stupidity, spelling as it does hunger and dehydration.  This is why God invented biltong, my children; and dehydration in the pressurized cabin is no frigging joke, especially if you are at risk of a gout attack (ask me how I know this).

Speaking of biltong:  I see that our supply thereof has fallen to a dangerously low level, so if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the kitchen.  I may be feeling poorly, but sometimes ya just gotta.

Wait, Where?

This was actually an ad feature, but still:

Stuttgart, Germany?

Actually, yes.  Of all the German cities I’ve visited — and that’s a lot — I was unexpectedly and pleasantly surprised by Stuttgart,  Here’s why.

It’s quite pretty, being set in the midst of a series of ridges and hills — like Johannesburg — and it makes no bones about the fact that it is all about business — again, like Johannesburg.

But it’s also a nice place to visit:  the food is varied and not expensive (at least, not when I was there. Tip:  if you can find a place that caters to the after-school crowds, the deals are sensational:  think 1-euro gyros and -pizza slices).

I remember asking the guy behind the counter in the above pic why they didn’t serve lamb gyros — highly unusual for a Turkish joint — and his response was:  “German lamb is terrible.”  (Schrecklich!)

Also, walking in the city itself is great fun, as there are several pedestrian-only streets and of course, there are the bars.

Close by, there are all sorts of interesting places, e.g. the Mercedes and Porsche factories and museums, for those who are that way inclined.

And unlike many Euro cities, renting a car is an excellent idea in Stuttgart for the simple reason that the Swabian countryside — Black Forest, y’all — is spectacular.  (If you have the money — I didn’t — rent a Porsche Boxster.)

I wouldn’t go there in winter or even early spring, though:  it’s pretty bleak.  This was late April/early May, when I was there:

But the best part of going to Stuttgart is that even in summer it’s not a tourist-y city like Paris or even Munich.

I’d go back there tomorrow if I could.


Afterthought:  like many German cities, Stuttgart was bombed all to hell during the slight disturbances of the early 1940s.  But just a short trip up the autobahn from Stuttgart is Tübingen — which wasn’t — and it’s worth a couple of days all by itself.

The street food alone was voted “Best in Germany” by the kids — and they went to all the places I went to.