Wasted Money

I note this development with something approaching gloom:

Amber Heard has finally paid Johnny Depp the $1million settlement she owed him after their bitter legal battle – as the Pirates of the Caribbean star vows to split it five ways among his favorite charities.

Depp and his ex-wife eventually settled their defamation claims against each other in December after five years of furious legal battles.

I know, ’tis a noble thing to do, giving away that demented tart’s money to worthy causes etc. etc.  And I know that Depp has enough money so that he can afford to give a million spondulicks away.

But I also wish he’d spent just a little of that money on something completely frivolous — say, a flashy Ferrari with a custom plate reading “BYTE MEBTCH” — because there’s nothing like creating a constant reminder to all the other gold-digging whores (thank you, Bill Burr) who want to enrich themselves at their wealthy paramours’ expense.

Actually, it would be a public service.

Bullet Dodged

I have no interest, of course, in ever watching the Barbie movie, despite the casting of the comely Margot Robbie in the title role.

Nevertheless, I still got a queasy feeling in my stomach when I stumbled across this horrifying scenario:

Amy Schumer was originally to play the title role of Barbie in the live-action Barbie movie but left the project in 2017, citing scheduling conflicts.

Yeah, nothing says “Barbie”

…like this foul yenta:

You may all be excused for a bathroom / vomit break at this point, and please accept my apologies for the latter pic — but it had to be done.

Ugly, All Round

Here’s the headline:

…and my first thought was: if a judge can’t be trusted with a gun on board a plane, then who can?

But then commonsense kicked in and my secondary thought was:  fuck ’em.  I’m sick of all these carve-outs and special treatments for people like this.  If I can’t carry a gun on a plane, then nobody should (excepting U.S. Marshals acting as “sky marshals”, perhaps).

But it gets worse.  From the story:

One of the latest gun owners to find herself in this embarrassing and potentially pricey situation is Bexar County Court Judge Rosie Speedlin Gonzalez, who recently realized the hard way that she had left one of her pistols in her carry-on bag as she was going through security at the San Antonio airport on her way to a conference in Miami.

At which point my antennae started to twitch a little.  Bexar (pronounced “bear”) county is San Antonio (city motto:  “Like Austin, but with less class”), so no doubt “Speedy” Gonzales is one of those Children of Soros judges… and then the next paragraph confirmed it:

Gonzalez says police allowed her wife to come pick up the gun.

Her wife?

Ah, fuck.  I apologize in advance, but here’s a pic of Speedy:

…complete with rainbow LGBTOSTFU flag, no less.

And another story about her, on that same topic:

A lesbian judge in Texas has been sanctioned for displaying a rainbow flag in her courtroom, after a lawyer complained that it was a “symbol of sexuality” and comparable to a swastika.

Bexar County Judge Rosie Speedlin Gonzalez is appealing a decision by the Texas Commission on Judicial Conduct, which told her in a private sanction that the rainbow flag — which flew alongside the U.S. flag and Texas state flag — was a breach of impartiality rules, Texas Lawyer reports.

Gonzalez made history in 2018 by becoming the first openly gay judge to be elected in Bexar County, and argued that the flag represented equality in her courtroom.

Listen, you rug-munching cow:  by definition, every courtroom in the United States represents equality before the law, and you shouldn’t have to wave your silly little flag to “prove” it.

I need to stop now before that 300+ blood pressure thing kicks in.

Range time?  I think so.

Offensive

Here’s the background to this story.

A town put on a carnival, which featured a parade of bands, floats, and so on.  The usual.

A bunch of pranksters decided to pull a fast one, and entered their own (and unapproved) float.

The float featured a sign declaring: ‘Of course we’re women, we sit down to pee’ and ‘Olympics 2024 woman’s 100m final’ – referencing the recent decision from FINA, world swimming’s governing body, who recently adopted a new policy to prohibit transgender women from competing in women’s races.

Three men ran behind the float, which was not officially entered into the carnival and secretly joined the procession on the day of the event, dressed in sports-bras and Speedos while wearing comedy wigs.

They were joined by five women running alongside them, who laughed as they followed the homemade float, which featured a toilet and a man standing in a white coat – appearing to pose as an official referee.

Funny as hell.

All went well until — you guessed it — a passing tranny saw the float, and of course took offense:

Trans stand-up comedian Donna Landy attended the Great Torrington Mayfair and Carnival in Devon back in May and blasted a float for being ‘offensive’ and highlighting a backwards’ viewpoint on transgender issues.

I thought being a comedian required having a sense of humor, but clearly not.  Anyway:

‘I was going to the Torrington Carnival to see my daughters, who were in the parade. I got there a bit late and was just catching up with the procession when I came across this float, the last one in the parade, and was a bit puzzled.

‘When I caught up with the float and read the sign my heart sank, it was clearly mocking trans athletes in sport and by extension all trans people, really.’

Ms Landy said she was worried she ‘could get attacked’ at the event because people could have began ‘mocking her’.

Of course:  afraid for your life, you were, what with Great Torrington being internationally renowned for being a hotbed of tranny oppression.

Needless to say, the carnival issued a groveling apology — despite the float being a “non-approved” entry.  Whatever.

My question for our frightened tranny comedian is quite simple:

Do your daughters call you “Mom” or “Dad”?

I’m guessing “Mom”, as you clearly have no balls.

Wedding Party

One of Rupert Murdoch’s grandspawn got married over the weekend.  Normally, of course, I would ignore nonsense like this, but I had to share the fun with My Loyal Readers.

First, there was the fact that the day before the wedding, ol’ Rupert told wife Jerry Hall (the ex-Mrs. Mick Jagger) that he was dumping her — told her this by email.  Pretty classless, but more or less standard behavior of the man christened the “Dirty Digger” by various press outlets.

Second, there was the bridal party, and I’ll leave it to you to find the flyshit in the sugar bowl:

And lastly, there was the bridal couple:

Here’s a full frontal of Rupert’s granddaughter:

Black and white, in color.  The tattoos don’t even match the dress pattern…

It all just shows, as if we ever needed a reminder, that money doesn’t buy class.

Quote Of The Day

Liberal Women Threatening A Sex Boycott Over Abortion Issue, reads the headline.  From Scott Adams:

“A sex strike by Democrat women would end the need for abortions.  Everyone wins.”

Joy Behar?  Seriously?